Wednesday, 30 January 2019

'How are you?'

I'm fine

That's what you say, isn't it? Well, what if I actually answered your question honestly? We'd be here a while. You might need to grab a cuppa. Ready? Here we go... 

I'm restless

My 2019 is going to be big. I can feel it. I've made my little resolutions, started scribbling in my new diary, put the changes in motion; I'm letting myself get excited, and hope

(Photo: Erin Veness)

I’m impatient

My face is still ‘in progress’; it’s healed infinite amounts since my surgery in September, and yet I’m still far from satisfied. I’m self-conscious, I’m sad, and I’m swollen. Every day I’m checking in the mirror, frowning at myself, actually willing wrinkles to appear and dying to see any kind of change. I’m told to wait at least six months. I cannot accept that that’s not now. People tell me they don’t notice, and really, that hurts to hear when it’s not prefaced with a ‘I know you’re not happy/this won’t help’. Because it makes me feel I’m making a fuss over nothing. 

Stub out your smoking habit. *

Tuesday, 22 January 2019

Waterstones Piccadilly; a little love story.

It was the summer of 2015, when I first went there. I was not long out the woods after my second brain surgery – in fact, that very day I’d had an aspiration intended to remove the excess CSF fluid that was leaking through my skull and into my face, mmm – and I was in a pretty foul mood, generally, as I’d been signed off work and was genuinely missing making coffee every day for customers who would normally irritate me no end with their requests for skinny milk but extra whipped cream, or a wet cappuccino with no chocolate on top. 

Saturday, 5 January 2019

Hello, 2019.

Ooh, look out, it’s not just another big list-type post from me on here but also fits nicely into that cheesy blogger category of New Year New Me #goals Manifest Destiny shizz. (not attacking there, I’m just a little tired of that whole theme being re-hashed every January… oh no wait, I’m about to do it. Sh*t.) 

(Photo: Erin Veness)

Wednesday, 2 January 2019

2018, in my measurements.

There’s this little known song from a like, totally obscure musical you probably haven’t heard of idk, that asks us, the audience, how we measure a year. In daylights? In sunsets? In midnights? In cups of coffee…? 

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