Lydia Reeves is a brilliant, badass body casting artist, working out of a studio in Brighton (she travels around, too; see her Insta for more info on that). I’ve admired her work for a while now, and was lucky enough to be a volunteer in her Vulva Diversity Project! I then went back to have my fabulous, mismatched boobs cast so I could hang them in pride of place in my home. These experiences were so positive, empowering and fun; I’d recommend her amazing casting to anyone who wants to preserve a bit of themselves, get over any aesthetic hang-ups, and truly love their body. She has so many more awesome things coming soon, so give her a follow on Instagram and keep an eye on her website now!

Lydia recently popped down to Hastings to do some recording for a super exciting project I’m working on. I can’t wait for you all to hear her speaking passionately about body love, breaking stigmas, and the pressures of society. But for now, here she is in blog interview form, talking about her vulva project... 

(Photo from Lydia's website.)

How did the idea for this project come to you? What was the original aim, and has it changed?

After suffering with huge anxieties and insecurities surrounding my own vulva, I decided I wanted to create something which helped other vulva owners to celebrate their vulvas, instead of feeling ashamed by them. 

This started by casting myself, and then a few friends. I had no big plans for it to go the way that it has! After realising the positive effects it had on me and my friends, I put a shout-out out on my Instagram to see if anyone else wanted to come and get theirs cast. Turns out this project resonates with A LOT of people!! Since then it has organically grown into this beautiful, diverse, project which has already helped so so many people understand that all vulvas are completely normal, and beautifully unique.

When did you first cast a vulva? What was that like!?

I cast my own vulva when I was 19 (almost 10 years ago!) This was after first learning how to body cast, and of course, I applied this technique straight to my vulva! At the time I wasn’t in the right mental place to start embracing my vulva, so hid the cast under my bed for years and years!

When I first started this project last year, my first vulva cast wasn’t the best…It was on one of my best friends and she happened to have a lot of pubic hair at the time. I had no idea how much Nivea cream I was supposed to use, and clearly didn’t use enough! We spent the best part of 10 minutes easing the goop off of her pubes bit by bit as she’d got pretty stuck in there!! A HUGE learning curve for me, and thankfully we’re still good mates haha! 

What do you use to make your castings? 

I mainly use a high strength plaster to create the finished pieces. I love the organic feel and the fragility each cast possesses.

What is the process like for you, the artist, working with a model?

I absolutely love the casting process. First and foremost I always make sure I’m putting the participant at ease as much as I can. I completely understand that this can be a very nerve-racking experience. Before getting into the casting process, we chat a lot about why they decided to come and get their vulva cast today, and I share a bit about my journey too if it feels appropriate. I could have never predicted how much I’d learn from doing this project, and it’s by far the best thing I’ve done to date!

(Photo from Lydia's website.)

Where did you see this project going? Was there a particular goal you wanted to hit?

I had no idea where I was going to take this project when I first started. At the very beginning I kept on saying ‘if it helps just one person feel more comfortable with their vulva, then I feel like I’ve done a great thing.’ I could never have foreseen it going the way it did, as just over a year later I’ve cast 200 vulvas, and had countless messages from people – both who are part of the project, and also those who follow my work on Instagram – saying how much my work has completely changed the way they view their own vulva! I can’t wait for my exhibition, and my book launch, to reach more and more people.

Did you know Lydia sells some amazing handmade products, too? Check her store out here!

Where can people find you on social media? And how can they sign up to get their beautiful bodies immortalised in this unique way?

My Instagram is @lydiareeves_artist and my website is lydiareeves.com. I am no longer taking volunteers for my Vulva Diversity Project, but I am still very much casting vulvas, boobies, bums and tums (and anything else you’d like casting!) so please feel free to drop me a message about booking in!

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Thanks so much for stopping by, Lydia. Huge love for you!

For those who don't know... I’m Grace. 

I have only recently discovered chow mein, growing my hair out (a little bit) is proving very difficult, I'm trying to make more time to write, doing a 'big shop' in the supermarket brings me such joy, coming off the pill has been amazing and absolutely sh*t, I've finally bought a Monstera Deliciosa, I stare at myself way too much during Zoom calls thinking 'do I normally look like that?!', I'm trying and failing to set bedtimes on my iPhone, going back to work has been weird and lovely and exhausting, I'm just starting a 28 day body 'reset' course with a local nutritionist and I'm so nervous/excited, turmeric is magical, fast fashion is evil, eating vegetables is important, I really think Sara Pascoe and I could be great friends, but then I worry I wouldn't make her laugh very much. 

I do these fun fact posts now and again, and weirdly, they get crazy amounts of reads. You nosy peeps. I love you. 

I love kissing. No, seriously. It's a big deal for me. In fact, I'd say it's a make or break point. On my first date with Hands, I confessed to him (after a few whiskies) that I believed kisses were extremely important; I’ve always felt that if I get on with someone, great, but if their kisses don’t work for me, then odds are we won’t continue seeing each other for very long. I want sparks, excitement and a feeling of connection. 

photo: Sophie Mayanne

What part of kissing is the best part, though? Is it the build-up? I used to love that part, when I was a hopelessly romantic teenager, full of hormones and constantly fighting inappropriate urges. We actually used to do an exercise in my Drama A Level lessons to ‘create sexual tension’ (hardly necessary, in a class of 15 sweaty teens mostly wearing leggings and writhing around to moody trance music, but hey) in which we’d grab a partner (literally) and take it in turns to walk towards each other and get in super close, as if we were about to dive in for an epic snog, then turn and walk away at the last minute… then turn back longingly, one last time. Goodness me, it was intense. And obviously, we all loved doing it. Because the suspense was delicious. It was like a scene in The OC, or even Skins; the will they? won’t they? plot lines were so juicy, it was almost a let down when the characters would break the tension with a smooch and end the wondering immediately. I remember I had friends at school and then college who I didn’t ‘get with’ because I enjoyed the ‘maybe’ of it all too much. I properly relished the excitement and question of it. My friends and I would always be swapping stories about ‘almost kisses’ on the train home, we’d get drunk on the anticipation and flush hot pink as we described every little detail – “he and I were in the costume cupboard behind the theatre, and we both reached for this jacket at the same time, he turned to me and we made eye contact and I FELT HIS BREATH on my cheek…”

Yep. The build-up, the not-kissing part, is pretty wonderful. But y’know what else is? The actual kissing part. When I was very young, I remember wondering how on earth we humans decided that we liked smushing our mouths together, and how that could be a declaration of attraction, or even love. And I mean, to this day I can still see the weirdness of it all, if you look at it simply – it’s just two faces being abruptly stuck together by two pairs of lips, with the optional tongues slipping in and out and shaking all about. It’s really bizarre. But it sends the happiest tingles through you; it somehow connects with your whole body, and your brain can get really into it as well. If it’s done right, that is. I’ve been kissed by some truly magnificent masters, a few promising punters, and then some absolute amateurs. Everyone has their own style and preferences (for instance, I’m really not that fussed about the tongue. Leave it in there, mate). I’m a big fan of hands on the sides of my face, or maybe one against the back of my head and one on my waist. Even a light hug around the middle feels nice. I once shared a great kiss with someone in a suit, and I think what made it great was the fact that I could grab hold of their lapels and pull them toward me. 10/10. I’ve also kissed someone I probably shouldn’t have, and that fact was hot enough really, but they also did this trick of running their hands up and down my back in little circles, which made me shiver against them and get in even closer. Sensory overload. 

But then it doesn’t always have to be dramatic. It can be lovely and gentle, like my first kiss with Hands, which was across a wobbly table in a pub on a quiet Friday night; just a little smooch that tasted like a sweet mingling of whisky and rum, it felt so gentle but hid within it a hint of wickedness.

photo: Sophie Mayanne

Then comes another exciting part… the after. When you break apart from the person you’ve been kissing and share a moment there, just you two. This is particularly lovely after a first kiss, partly because all that tension that built up would have finally been released, and you’ll both feel the happy relief of it as the dust settles around you… but also because it’s a taste of what’s to come. A first kiss is like a key, and you let yourself into something with it. You don’t know what the something actually is yet, and that’s part of the excitement, isn’t it? I, for one, love the ‘after’ part of a kiss. It can be so brief; just a quick flicker of a spark between each other’s eyes, blink and you’ll miss it, before you both look away and smile to yourselves, then continue with whatever you were doing. Return to the party, refill your drinks, catch up with other friends, don’t think on what just happened too much because there’s no time now. Or it can sit with you for a while, a comforting feeling that settles on your shoulders and tickles your lips; it fills up your chest with a mixture of warmth and confidence that makes you sit up a little and show your teeth when you smile. It glows in the corners of your eyes. For the rest of the evening, you and the person you kissed will feel the little smattering of stardust that was born when you collided, and exists between the two of you. 

photo: Sophie Mayanne

What’s your favourite part of a kiss? And are there any that you think will always linger in the back of your mind? 

I was a very romantic teenager. Like, obsessed with all things love and lust. I had so many crushes, fantasies and ‘what if’ moments. I would spend hours listening to the same pop punk ballads, gazing out every train window, sighing dramatically, staying up late with my phone under the covers, agonising over my wording of the simplest texts – then sending the most obscure ‘hey, what’s up?’, definitely expecting a lovelorn essay in return, and being heartbroken when I only got a ‘nm, you?’ back, several hours later. UGHH. It was exhausting, having so many feelings about everything and everyone.

Most of these feelings were unrequited, of course. I think on some deranged level, I liked it that way. I wallowed in the pain and drama of it all. I can’t tell you how many friends I had who saw me as a confidante, someone they could go to for advice when they were sick with love. I’d happily listen, reply to all their texts (even if it used all £10 of my credit) and hog the family computer all evening to chat in mostly emoticons (remember those?) on MSN Messenger, when secretly, deep inside I’d be aching with sadness because all along, shockingly, I was in love with them. Taylor Swift’s ‘You Belong With Me’ was basically my life, for a few years. In fact, the whole ‘Fearless’ album was my soundtrack; I’d listen to it on my iPod classic as I walked to and from school every day, picturing my crush of the moment and I dancing together or kissing in the rain or running through airports for each other. It was torturous… and exciting.

image source

Then came the loves that were reciprocated. Oh yes, there were some of those! Who’d have thought? They were all pretty wild rides – emotionally speaking, that is. Intense and instant chemistry, a spark that anyone around us could see, secret kisses in cupboards, code names we gave each other, hands almost touching as we walked side by side, tension you could cut through when our eyes met, flurries of texts one night and then silence for days. I got greedy, sometimes. I couldn’t get enough. I lived for the most dramatic moments, I gorged on angst and would set fire to the quiet comforts so things would be more interesting, if only for a short while. I played with boundaries between friendship and something more, because that was my favourite story line in books, films and TV shows. I remember being surprised when it didn’t work out as well in real life as it did in works of fiction.

My first love was my best friend. They were the first of many best-friend-turned-loves – and the reason I started this online diary of sorts, actually. The day we met we felt something big, and mutually decided it must be romantic, so we went on a date the following weekend. We went to the cinema and saw perhaps the worst film to watch on a first date. It became ‘our film’. But I turned out to be the misguided character in the end, who put too much of themselves into a fantasy. We had our first kiss at one train station, then decided to be ‘just friends’ at another, a few hours later. And for a year or so after that, we were truly terrible at being ‘just friends’.

I remember when it all imploded, and I sat crying onto my computer keyboard, quietly screaming in pain. It felt like a physical loss. You were suddenly gone. Then some time later, I was in Waterloo Station, and you called me. You’d forgiven me. Then we both started uni, and you came to visit me a couple of times. The timing still wasn’t quite right, now I think back to it. I met you off the train one day, emotionally hungover and spiraling badly after a silly night spent with another ‘friend’. You were there, and ready. I wasn’t. Another time, we went for lunch at my favourite diner, and I told you over a shared portion of fries that I’d started seeing someone. Another Northerner, with the same name as you, curiously enough. You laughed, and shook your head. We went out that night dressed up as geeks, in dungarees and fake glasses, and a few friends of mine asked if you were my long distance partner. We got home at 2am and ate buttery crumpets, then literally fell into bed together. Nothing happened. Between these two occasions, we met in London. We’d kiss now and again, in cafes and museums and parks, never in a big moment, but because it just felt like the natural thing to do. It made sense. It’s so weird to think back to that now, because to this day I’ve never been like that with anyone else. It inspired me. I wrote a novel about two characters who loved each other deeply, and wanted each other so badly, but never crossed that line. I always thought that was it; we’d come together again someday and it would be like no time had passed. It would just click. I thought of you when I read ‘One Day’. You were my Dexter. You weren’t the one that got away, you were the one I never made a go of it with. I know that if I had, things would be very different now. Because it would have stuck, I’m sure of that. But then ‘The Versions of Us’ also reminded me of you, and made me wonder – we may have been perfect together back then, but would it have lasted? How would we have coped with the distance, our different university experiences, and my health scares?

The last time I saw you, we had lunch at one of my favourite restaurants in London. A small chain, a branch I’d never been to. You’d said as we walked there, ‘I think you’ll like this place’. You weren’t to know I’d been going to the one near me for years – on a lot of dates. I remember looking at you over my pots of dim sum and coconut rice, thinking ‘it’s still you and me, but it’s not the same us’. You told me a little about your work, and gave me updates on your family. I laughed at all the crazy stories, and briefly pondered on how I’d always wanted them to be my in-laws. I asked after your girlfriend, and you told me it was good, and you were working hard to keep it that way. I felt warm and happy for you. Since that day, we’ve called each other drunk a few times, and exchanged the odd message on social media platforms – we’re not Facebook friends any more, though. That seems too intimate somehow. 

Today I found out you got married. An old friend of yours, another who you had a love story with once upon a time, told me. We’re both sad not to have known, nor been invited to celebrate with you. I’m giving some time to my teenage self today; remembering what I felt, what we had, and how heartbroken sixteen-year-old me would be to hear that it never went where she expected it to. I’ve cried at my breakfast table, put Taylor’s latest album on full blast and sung along in the shower – I’ve even asked David Nicholls for some wise words. I’ll say congratulations and move on tomorrow, but today I need to mourn for my old romantic self.

We were something, don’t you think so?

Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool

and if my wishes came true,

it would have been you.

Hello, angels. Who needs a bit of a break? All of you, and ASAP? Yep, that’s what I thought. These past few months, I’ve been seeing the same things pretty much every day. And surprisingly, I’ve grown a bit tired of my little flat, the residential streets in my neighbourhood where I’d walk up and down, round and round, day after day in lockdown… even the seafront is getting a bit samey for me, lately. I never thought that would happen! Anyone else feeling me on this? Oh well, there’s not much we can do about this restless feeling we’re all having, at the moment.

… or is there?

image source

Obviously going away abroad is fraught with issues at the moment and while a cheeky trip to sunny Spain, for instance, is the dream for most of us, you have to think – is it worth the time in quarantine when you get home? Nope! So why not stay in the UK, and do a little exploring here? There are so many wonderful places to discover not far from your doorstep, and you never know, you might find a new favourite holiday spot that you can visit without going through the faff of flying! 

I personally have had some lovely experiences travelling within the UK; exciting road trips down the coast with friends, chilled solo adventures to historical towns, and epic train rides up to the Midlands and beyond. One of my favourite places to visit, though? It’s gotta be the Bournemouth area.

I have a few good friends who live in this area, and obviously it’s a treat seeing them when I travel that way. And it’s partly thanks to them, partly to my inquisitive mind and wandering feet, that I know of many lovely spots to visit within this part of Dorset. Here are a few of them… 

Brownsea Island.

I come from a family that’s very involved in the Girl Guiding movement, and I attended my local Brownie, Guide and Young Leader meetings as I grew up, so of course I had heard about the legendary Brownsea Island. It’s where the worldwide Scout movement began in 1907! I finally got to visit there as a helper with my mum’s Rainbow unit, and it was a serious ‘wow’ moment. This National Trust site is a short boat ride from Poole Harbour, and has the most spectacular views across to the Purbeck Hills. I’d definitely recommend a day spent there, going along the free trails laid out all around the island, and spotting all the creatures who live happily in the woodland and lagoons. Oh, there’s also a picnic area and natural play ground, so it’s perfect for a family trip!

The Bournemouth beaches.

Well, obviously. Bournemouth boasts a truly brilliant sandy beach, which stretches on for miles, just a short walk from the town centre – via a beautiful little park, actually. Fun fact: it was in Bournemouth that the beach hut was invented 100 years ago, and they still have some of the oldest ones there. Weird eco-geek moment: the entrance to the beach from the centre of town has some MASSIVE recycling, glass, and general waste bins. That excites me, because the amount of beach litter collected in this country is ridiculous, and there’s no excuse for it.

Jurassic Coast day trip.

Another geek out moment: I did Geography GCSE, and was obsessed by the natural arches and caves that are formed by weather and the sea, over time. Durdle Door is not far from Bournemouth, and Lulworth Cove too. When you take one of the day trips available, you can see both of these natural sites, as well as Sandbanks, Swanage and Durlston Country Park.

Sopley Farm.

I’m biased, because I had a particularly marvellous trip here to do some pumpkin picking (although for us, as we visited on a rainy day, it was more like ‘pumpkin scooping’) but this fabulous farm in Christchurch is a gem. Vast PYO fields, and a cute cafe for those post-picking cuppas.

Oh also, Sopley Mill is a lovely wedding/event venue.

Healthy Habits.

Oh c’mon, I couldn’t not put a vegan-friendly cafe in here! This gem is in Broadstone, just outside Poole. Check out their Instagram for a (visual) taste of their menu – ooh, and they’re currently doing Eat Out to Help Out! All the more reason to go, when you book your staycation to Bournemouth.

In case you were worried about visiting these spots in this tricky time of COVID, fear not! I have looked up all of these activities and spaces, and they’re all imposing strict guidelines and hygiene measures. And of course travelling there by public transport is perfectly safe, too; I know our National Rail services are making it mandatory to keep a distance from fellow passengers, and wear face coverings at all times on their services and in their stations/waiting areas. And to ensure you stay somewhere that’s adhering to the new rules, check out the places listed here.

Okay, have I sold it to you? Good. Book your super safe staycation now!

This post is in collaboration with Hotels.com, but all views are my own.

 *this post was written by a contributor*

It’s safe to say that this pandemic has made people more aware than ever of the importance of looking after their mental health. Long periods of isolation, coupled with concerns about friends and family members all lead to a lot of stress and anxiety, so it’s important that you take check in with yourself now and again, and take steps to manage your anxiety. The problem is, a lot of folks don’t realise that they are struggling with anxiety, especially if they have never suffered from it before. 

Photo by Team Maestroo from Pexels

The most obvious symptom is anxious thoughts, but anxiety actually manifests itself in a lot of different ways and it’s important that you know how to recognise some of the other signs. And the physical signs of it often get overlooked. Here are a few of them, so you can keep an eye out… 

Stomach Problems 

Your mental health and gut health are closely linked and when you are feeling anxious, it’s very common to have stomach problems. You may feel nauseous, and you can develop a lot of issues with digestion as well. It may not always be down to anxiety of course, and you should consider whether your diet could be causing it, but if you haven’t changed anything about your lifestyle and you suddenly start getting stomach problems, that’s a sign that you may be feeling very anxious. 

Vision Problems 

Most people don’t realise that stress and anxiety can lead to vision problems. When you feel very anxious, your body releases a lot of adrenaline and this puts pressure on your eyes, causing blurred vision. If you do notice that your vision is changing, it’s important to get your eyes tested and invest in a pair of specs (you can get some affordable ones at Eyeglasses.com) if necessary. There are a lot of other reasons for vision problems so you should rule those out first, but if you find that your vision is blurred and you can’t find any other medical reason for it, it could be down to anxiety. 

Headaches 

Tension headaches are very common in people that are stressed and anxious. The muscles in your neck, shoulders and scalp tighten when you are stressed and this is what causes the headaches. If you do some stretches to relax your muscles and relieve that tension, you will notice a big difference and your headaches should go away. Check out greatist.com for some simple stretches that will help to loosen up your muscles. 

Fatigue 

Everybody gets a bit tired sometimes but if you always feel like you don’t have any energy, there is probably something else going on. There are a few reasons why anxiety causes fatigue; firstly, your brain can run out of energy just like any other muscle so when you are very anxious, you will always feel tired. Anxiety causes your body to release a lot of adrenaline and your heart rate increases, but when this adrenaline runs out, you experience a crash and start to feel very fatigued. The physical impact on your muscles also leads to tiredness because your muscles are constantly tense all day long and they get worn out. In some cases, tiredness is a coping mechanism from your body because, by making you feel tired, your body hopes that you will take a break and recuperate. Sleep problems are also common in people with anxiety. It’s important that you find ways to improve your sleep patterns if you want to beat anxiety-induced fatigue. 

Chest Pains 

Chest pains are one of the scariest physical symptoms of anxiety. If you experience chest pains, it’s important that you see a doctor because there could be something more serious going on. However, a lot of the time, it’s down to anxiety. When you are anxious, it can affect your breathing so you take a lot of short, sharp breaths, which can cause the chest muscles to spasm and lead to chest pains. Anxiety also causes your heart to beat a lot faster and that extra stress on the heart leads to pains as well. When you are already feeling anxious and you start getting chest pains, it’s easy to jump to the worst case scenario and start worrying that something is seriously wrong, and this will only make your anxiety worse. 

Often, the physical effects of anxiety are more of an issue than the anxious thoughts but people don’t make the connection between the two. You need to watch out for these physical symptoms and take steps to reduce your anxiety if you notice them.