Well, I guess this is...

17 March 2021 • , ,

I don't want to be a grown-up. 


That's my overwhelming feeling right now. I'm looking up from my kitchen table, where I've been working 40 hours a week for the past couple of months, and blinking in the sunlight as it pours in through the windows; suddenly everything is illuminated and I realise, I'm growing up. I have a job - several jobs, within one company, actually. I'm going to be earning more than I ever have before, consistently, very soon. I'm squirreling money away in several savings accounts with varying rates of interest, in the hope that it will be put towards a flat of my own someday (or, slightly more likely, a trip to the other side of the world) - but in the meantime, I'm happily paying rent and bills, etc. A highlight of my week is doing The Big Shop - preferably at 7:30am, before I start work, because it's so peaceful in the supermarket, and then by the time I sit down at the computer I'm feeling like I've achieved something in the day already. My flat is full of plant babies. I go to the laundrette regularly. I'm obsessed with making porridge. I have a 5-step skincare routine, for morning and nighttime. I listen to Radio 2 on my smart speaker, while I work. I go through phases of writing meal plans. I've installed Grammarly on my laptop. I drink Kombucha every evening, before dinner. I take supplements with breakfast. I came off the pill last year. 


How did all this happen? 




Photo by Caitlin Lock.


I try to remind myself that, in a lot of ways, I'm not a grown-up. Just looking at what I wear these days is proof of that. Also, I spend way too much money on plants, vegan chocolate, crystals, LUSH products, books, and the silliest home accessories from IKEA. I ask my parents to wash the clothes I'm too scared to put in the laundrette's machines. I am still guilty of a little social media stalking, now and again. I'm scared to walk outside after dark - oh no wait, that's not because I'm un-adult, it's because I'm a woman. My mistake. Hmmph. Anyway... 


I think my grown-upness is blending a little with my inner child, though. My jobs are all fun, creative and make me feel like a superhero. I'm following people on social media who inspire me, and I try my very best to help others with their struggles too. My perfectly functional IKEA unit is packed with books arranged in colour order. A painted cast of my boobies hangs above my living room doorway. I got an IUD implanted so my sex life would be better, and I'd have less anxiety about those slippery buggers. 



Photo by Caitlin Lock.


I'm working on creative projects, and putting money into them, not just dreams and attempted manifestations. This blog is one of them - it's going to be a fully-fledged website someday soon; not just a creaky old Blogspot platform masked by a beautiful and very reasonably priced template, and a URL bought from whatever hosting monster can offer it semi-cheaply. 


A teenager started this blog, many years ago. Her biggest problems were that she fancied a boy in her Drama class, ate far too many After Eights, and was struggling to pass her theory test. She just wanted a space to vent, and release all her pent-up angst and romance. I do wonder what she'd think if she could see it now - where it's got her, how many people have found it and continue to check in and read regularly, and just how much she's shared about her life on it. I don't think anyone could have ever predicted it. My little corner of the internet. My safe space. It's always been there for me. And it will be for many years to come. I don't have to be a grown-up on here. 


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Small But Big; Lemon Drops Design.

7 March 2021 • , , ,

Hey again, my fellow small bizz lovers. I recently emailed the gorgeous Nikki Rogers from Lemon Drops Design, a handmade jewellery brand from my neck of the woods, with some Qs about her business and how it came to be! So grab a brew, check out her website, treat yourself to some of her uniquely bright and cheerful goodies, then read about the woman behind the designs... 






Hey, lovely lemony Nikki. So great to have you on here, thank you for taking the time to answer my questions! Tell us about what you do! 


Hey lovely Grace! I’m so thrilled that you asked me to be part of this, thank you so much. I make colourful statement earrings and have very recently started working on a range of cards and stationery as well. 




How was Lemon Drops Design born?

Before I had my babies I used to be a sixth form teacher, so I was always on the go, my mind always busy. Contrary to popular belief being a teacher doesn’t really work out when you have your own small kids (unless they’re in childcare from morning until night every day) and my requests for part time hours were denied (that’s a whole other gender-imbalanced story) so I stayed home with the babes instead. But, my busy brain really struggled to adjust to that. I felt ‘worthless’ and struggled to feel satisfied with filling my days with baby groups. I dipped my toe in the making and small business waters a couple of times during the next two years but nothing stuck. Then in 2019 I realised I was in a rut. My wardrobe had become a generic ‘mum uniform’ of navy Breton stripes and grey and I desperately needed to feel more me again. I decided to inject a little colour and pattern with some earrings. I found loads I loved through Instagram but they were all from Australian makers (those gals know how to do colour and pattern), and my Etsy searches let me down so I decided to have a go at making some myself. I bought myself some essentials, watched lots of tutorials and made myself some rainbow leopard print drops. It wasn’t long before I had requests rolling in and so I thought, maybe this is my thing. 





You seem to have a lovely community of followers on social media. Do you feel you have lots of support from them? What kind of people are they? 

Yes! I love my followers so much. They’re so supportive and feed my soul with all their lovely comments when I’m working on new designs, and they’re also really caring and considerate when things are hard - as they have been a few times this past year! Some of us also chat about what we’re reading or knitting over in DMs too so I feel like I’m building a really lovely little community of like-minded people. 



Can you tell us a bit about your creating/making process? 

Of course! I don’t really have a set way that I come up with ideas. Sometimes I know what colours I want to use, sometimes I have a specific pattern I want to create and sometimes I have no idea when I sit down. The process is always the same though. I make a large ’slab’ of my design and then I cut my various shapes and sizes from it. I try to make sure I have a range of sizes as some of my customers prefer a stud, whilst others (like me) prefer big earrings! I use up as much of the pattern as possible and then either save the scraps to be mixed to make a new colour for another day, or I swirl it together to create a marble effect which I use to make ’no waste studs’. Being as responsible as possible with my waste is really important to me. I don’t throw anything away and all my packaging and paper products are recyclable and where possible, printed on recycled paper. Once my shapes are cut they need to be baked. Then each piece is sanded to remove and rough edges, drilled, put together and fixings attached. Sometimes I’ll also add a shiny resin coat as well to make the shimmer or glitter in a design really pop. This whole process can take several hours from start to finish for one batch of earrings (then there’s photographing them and getting them listed in the shop as well). 


(photo from Lemon Drops Design website)
(yes, I absolutely did buy these earrings for myself)


What are some of your favourite smallish brands? 

Oh dear, there are too many! Haha, I have a bit of a shopping problem which I definitely justify by shopping small almost exclusively. Some brands I’m loving at the moment though include Smellysaurus who makes the most beautiful and delicious wax melts, and Bookwork Candles who make beautiful book-inspired candles. I also love anything from Stacey McEvoy Caunt, Nutmeg and Arlo and Emma Lindley Art. And I couldn’t possibly not mention Lucy & Yak who basically supply my entire wardrobe, though not sure they’re a small brand anymore...!




What are your hopes and dreams for the future - can be personal or professional! 

I have some big ideas for this year, kind of so big (to me) that it’s a bit scary and I’m procrastinating instead of taking the leap. And I’d love to expand on my stationery offerings too. But my real dream would be to open my own little gift/book shop. I’ve always wanted a book shop but I think I’d definitely want to make lots of room for all the wonderful small businesses I’ve met in there too. Maybe when the kids are a little older I’ll be able to go for it! 

Thanks again for this, lovely! 

*

Thank you for being here, Nikki! Isn't she lovely, readers? Be sure to follow her on Instagram, and bookmark her website for future gift buying/self-treating!

 
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My happy places.

3 March 2021 • , , , ,

Throughout the lockdown(s), I've been missing so many people, and so many everyday THINGS, like treating myself to coffee on my way into work rather than using the instant stuff in the staff room (a true luxury), or chatting with the conductor on my train, or hugging someone I've only just met without a care in the world... but I've also missed places. 

The concept of 'happy place' is so overused, but so accurate at the same time. There are a lot of places I enjoy being in, but only a select few in which I feel completely and truly peaceful, content, and safe. They're the ones I crave, especially recently when my little flat has become the only space I actually spend proper time in. 


Well, I can't visit any of these places for at least two months (if this 'roadmap' thing goes ahead smoothly - ha!), so let me just throw them out here, please? Thanks. And be sure to comment/tweet/DM/whatever with yours. I want to know. 





We can start with the earlier memories that formed happy places. The big grassy area out the front of my college. Especially in Spring/Summer time, when everyone would spill out of the higgledy piggledy old buildings and onto the lawn, in the sunshine, gathering in groups and ripping into their lunches from the vending machines in the canteen. I remember lolloping lazily with friends in the heatwave, gossiping, playing catch and swapping notes between lessons. 


I guess if we're going to mention college here - the black box theatre I had all my A Level Drama classes in would have to be added to the list. I grew a lot in there, and after a rocky start I found it was a space I could properly let go in.


Winchester cathedral grounds (and the little stone bench I almost always sit on, with a coffee, to stare up at the old building I graduated in). Also the pub by the river, the Oxfam bookshop, and the top of the high street (does this count, though? I'd never sit and 'hang out' in that place... maybe it's just a 'happy passing spot'). Obviously, the university campus would have to be on the list too; particularly the student union cafe, the library and my halls. I mean, the actual buildings where the seminars and lectures took place wouldn't go amiss, but I'm trying really hard to keep it to just a few, okay? Cool. 


(Let's go a bit faster, now. Because not every happy place needs its own explanation, and/or context.)


Stargazy! My lovely, ridiculous friend's shop, in Hastings Old Town. It's reminiscent of a gypsy caravan, packed to the brim with crystals, scarves, and the most beautiful handmade silver jewellery. I have genuinely, deeply missed visiting and working in there, since the first lockdown. 


The bench at the top of the steps up the East Hill. I've started going up there again recently, after being put off for years because of too much time spent there as a horny teen, but you just can't beat the view and the peace and quiet of it. It's extra lovely when you go with a friend who brings a flask of tea and mugs, FYI. 





The West Hill, too. But only on the May Day weekend. The rest of the year, I could take or leave it, really. 


My friend's cafe, at my favourite table against the exposed brick wall, drinking the strongest long black (the finest Brighton coffee, obviously) and eating a chai fudge brownie, looking through the window onto the lovely quiet street with the church and the tattoo studio and the ancient barbershop. 


The place down the road from me with the rickety window shutters and chicly mismatched furniture that proudly exhibits itself as a tequila bar, but also offering a wide selection of whisky and the boujiest booziest cocktails. 


The Brighton Lanes. Ugh. I hate how much I miss them, because it almost confirms that I am a hipster/indie kid wannabe, but I promise I only go there for the coffee and cake.


The office I work from once a week, with the table I always manage to knock off balance, and the quiet therapy room where the most chilled meetings take place, and exciting audio recording happens. 


Our staff room in Tunbridge Wells, with the magnificent second-hand sofa that's perfect for lunchtime naps. 


My favourite patch of St Leonards beach, where I sat for 10 hours with some of my favourite humans (and nearly £200 worth of burgers and chips), on my 27th birthday. 


Shakespeare and Sons, Berlin. Yet another cafe, but hear me out - there are bagels and books, too. It's just got the happiest feel about it. 


Nana's porch, in her little village - with added Vegemite on toast to complete the vibe. 


My special spot in the park that's just up a little passageway at the end of my street - I started going there when I was let off shielding last spring, taking a blanket, a lunch box and a book with me. I'd often end up ignoring the book and just listening to my favourite podcasts while eating my sarnies. 


The biggest bookshop in Europe, in Piccadilly. Browsing each floor, one by one, for a good while before scurrying upstairs to the bar and indulging in their happy hour - when the prices are almost reasonable. (Optional but inevitable drunk book shopping to follow)


Thursday Plantation, Ballina, New South Wales. The smell of the air there is like nothing else. Tea tree and eucalyptus, mixed with the essence of the woody forest, in the balmy heat, ooooft. I could get high off that sweet combo. It's also so peaceful there; walking through the forest or just sitting on the deck behind the shop, drinking a mint tea. Mmm.  





Bottle Alley - pronounced 'bot'lally'. I'm not sure why, but I've always loved walking through there to town, and back - and at night, it's quite magical. 


So many beaches on the East Coast of Australia, I cannot possibly name them all. I plan on revisiting them in 2022, one way or another. 


My roof. Of course. A proper sanctuary, and my saviour last year when I couldn't leave my building for so long. I'll miss a lot of things when I leave this flat in the summer; the pristine tiles in the kitchen, the rain-style shower head, the old fireplace, its proximity to the train station, the beach, the shops and the park - but I know I'll miss that old rooftop the most. 


*

I know I've probably forgotten so many here, but these are the ones that immediately fill my mind and calm me down when I think of the simple term 'happy place'. The ones I will look up on Google Maps while on my lunch break, and shamelessly travel through them in street mode. It's great to have these tucked away inside my mind, but then I also realise that one of the most important things to learn in life is how to make any space a happy place. And on that pensive, borderline wanky, note; I'll end this post. 


PS, I'm very aware how big a part food and drink play in this list. Not sorry.


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Interview with Lauren Marina; illustrator and designer.

15 February 2021 • , , ,

I love being able to interview brilliant, talented and interesting people here in my funny little corner of the internet! I'm hoping that someday, when lockdown lifts, I can do more of this kind of thing in a slightly different format - but more on that later. Now, let me introduce the divine Lauren Marina! She and I met a while ago, through work. Now she's freelancing, creating 'illustration for inspired interiors' (ooft, that alliteration game is top notch, no?) and currently raising funds to make a full on brand, and eventually bring about a collaborative community studio space and shop! You can support the crowdfunder HERE.


I fired a few questions over to her via email, and her replies were so lovely. Read on, friends!



Photo by @seansvisuals at TOSH


Would you like to tell us about your wonderful artwork and Marina Studio brand?


Hey Grace! I am an illustrator, pattern, and surface designer. I’ve been making art my whole life but took the plunge into freelancing full-time last year after leaving my previous job. I work on a mix of private commissions for clients, and also creating my own items to sell. 

 

I draw all of my work with pencil, inks, paint, and also using my iPad and Procreate. I tend to lean towards using a limited colour palette of deep charcoal and beige or white, but sometimes I add in some earthy tones too. 

 

I’m inspired by blooming houseplants, changing seasons, natural forms, expressive fauna, and wild creatures. I’ve recently gotten into drawing more animals, and I’m loving creating a series of expressive galloping horses!   

 

Marina Studio is my brand where I sell a variety of lifestyle and interior items. I currently sell a range of art prints, greetings cards, and wrapping paper. I’m really conscious of my environmental impact so print only on 100% recycled high-quality cards, using vegetable inks, and my products either come packaging-free or wrapped in compostable sleeves. 

 


How has lockdown etc. been for you, creatively?

 

Creatively, it’s actually been quite groundbreaking for me. 

 

I began drawing again as a way to pass the time and to self-soothe my anxiety. It became an everyday hobby again and it felt really good to have the time to do it! Like slipping back into a pair of really comfy, familiar slippers, if you know what I mean? 

 

I began to post some of my drawings on Instagram and had a really encouraging response from my community. Then I started selling some prints online, and a few commissions started coming in. Things have just snowballed from there really!

 

I started to think that maybe I could actually give my illustration a shot as a career. It was a bit of a ‘now or never’ moment for me. For a lot of last year, drawing felt like survival, for my mental health but also as a way to feed myself and keep a roof over my head. With each commission and each sale from my shop I’m proving to myself that I can do it, and that I can absolutely smash it!

 

So as an artist, this last year has exceptionally transformative for my own confidence and self-belief.

 



Photo by @seansvisuals at TOSH



It seems like you've been super busy lately! Tell us about the latest project you're embarking on!

 

So I started a Crowdfunder at the start of February! I’ve never used a platform like this before so I was initially a little worried about how it would be received. I am looking to raise £500 so that I can expand my range of Marina Studio products. I’ve been experimenting with wallpaper designs over the last few months and I am absolutely loving it as a potential end-point for my art! But, starting a wallpaper range comes with its costs, so I asked my community to help fund this expansion. 

 

I have been utterly bowled over by the kind and generous response. I really thought that the Crowndfunder could fall totally flat, with no one caring or donating. But it’s been the total opposite. The £500 goal has been made, and I’m now aiming for my stretch target of £1000. The financial generosity has been amazing to receive, but moreover, the belief that people have in me as an artist is absolutely magic. 


 

What are your biggest hopes and dreams? (for the brand, and for you!)

 

If I can make a living from my art, have a secure roof over my head, food in my tummy, and a good work/life balance I’ll be so happy. I hope to move into a proper artist studio soon, but I don’t want to jinx it so I won’t say too much on that!




Photo by @seansvisuals at TOSH




Do you have a favourite piece of work you've done in the past?


That’s a tricky one. I find that my most recent piece of art is my favourite! So currently, that’s the Galloping Horse print. I just love how the sun's beating down, they look pretty chill and their tail flicks gleefully amongst the foliage!





Photo by @seansvisuals at TOSH



Thanks for chatting with me, Lauren. I can't wait to someday have a cuppa together on the beach in Dorset!


My darls, if you want to support this queen and help her achieve her dream of making Marina Studio, contribute here OR check out her shop, OR buy her a virtual coffee!


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Life is good, even when the world is bad.

6 February 2021 • , ,

Remember when everyone regularly did the 'things that made me happy this week' posts? I miss those days; when blogging was so simple and gentle and a passion, rather than a job, for so many. I also miss people taking the time to post on social platforms and their various corners of the internet about their wins and joys - these days it's all 'the world is sh*t', '2020 can get in the sea' and 'can't wait for my life to start again'... I get it. I really, really do. No, seriously. I shielded in the first lockdown, I've had to isolate a few times since then, I've been furloughed, I've not hugged my family for months now and all my favourite places to go are closed for the foreseeable future - I GET IT. 




The world is a sh*tty place right now. It is. Our government suck. Businesses everywhere are struggling, money is tight, we all need a good cuddle. That said, life isn't all bad for me these days. I recently had a revelation - life's alright. It'll do. Okay, the lovely shop I work in is currently closed and I miss it dearly, but I've been able to work from home with one of the company's head office teams; 40 hours a week I am answering emails from distressed customers who need help - or just to be listened to - which actually brings me some real joy. Okay, some of my favourite local cafes are closed and I can't meet friends for a sit-down-cuppa-chat, but I can meet one friend at a time for a socially distanced walk along the seafront, or in the park, or around my funny old neighbourhood - and we can get coffee to take away, from the indie cafes that are staying open as kiosks! Okay, I can't get my fluffy, fast-growing hair sorted out and tidied up, but I'm basically getting a free pass to grow it and not worry too much about what it looks like - because I'm not going anywhere! 





I have a TV. I have my laptop. I have wifi and 4G. I have books - so many books. I have my plant babies. I have friends, just a video call or a tweet away. I can do virtual yoga classes in my living room. I can boogie, live on Instagram, in my pants - a very weird and wonderful occupation that's got me through the hardest times. I have my health - just about. I have food, I have an income, and of course, I have a fabulous, hard-working, resilient body that is carrying me through it all. Now, I'm not very good at meditating, but I've started taking moments each day to think about the things I do have, and the things that make me happy, despite everything. They can be the smallest, silliest things. The other day I giggled through my face covering at the local bakery when I saw a small bowl next to the till, full of gingerbread men, with a little sign that said 'Lil Ginger Chaps'. Things like that. Take them in. I'm very aware I've written something like this recently, about finding the light in the dark, but it's so important! Switch off the news for one evening, you can afford that. Pop your favourite movie on instead. Grab some snacks. Maybe hook up your phone/laptop to Zoom and watch it with your loved ones. 






I've put some photos in this post of little things that have made me happy, recently; including an online LUSH makeup class, a day of dog sitting, and my plants. Okay, the Zoom call with Newton Faulkner is quite a big thing, and very unexpected, but hey... 


The world will be okay again, someday. You need to make yourself okay, for now. 


Please comment with any tips you have for staying sane and staying happy, while the world is very sad. 


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Interview with Ella Bell, tattoo artist.

28 January 2021 • , , ,

I am so delighted to have had the opportunity to chat (virtually) with my beautiful friend and favourite tattoo artist, Ella Bell. This queen has been a huge inspiration to me for a good few years now, after I stumbled across her Instagram page back in 2016 (I think??) and fell madly in love with her style and ink work. Since then, I’ve been lucky enough to have her ink me up a good few times, and each piece she’s designed for me has been perfect. Seriously, for those of you who want to get inked someday, I cannot tell you how important it is to find an artist you truly love, and have so much confidence and trust in that you can just email with a vague idea and rough measurements, then leave them to work their magic. 

Anyway, let's get to the questions...


Photo from Ella's website.



My darling Ella! You may just be one of the most beautiful artists, ever. When did you discover your creative spirit? 

 

Hi Grace my angel! Thank you so much, I love you. Thank you for being such a fantastic client and friend! So I can’t really remember a moment of discovery as such, it was always just there, a familiar and integral part of who I am. I always loved making things as a child, and that creative spirit has only grown as I have. As I got older the spirit got a bit more drive and I really, really wanted to pursue my creativity more seriously, which is what led me into looking for a creative job. Making something you love into “work” has its own challenges, but being able to be absorbed in creativity is what my spirit needs, and I’m very grateful to be able to pursue it. 



Photo by Erin Veness, tattoo by Ella.


How did you get into tattooing? I hear it's a pretty tricky industry to find your feet in!

 

God yeah, I always felt like the doors were sealed shut and I literally didn’t know how anyone ever did it, it felt like such a distant dream. For a few years before I got my apprenticeship I spent as much time as I could getting tattooed, which made me realise how much I loved tattoos for a start, and also gave me lots of valuable one on one time with tattoo artists. If they were happy for me to ask questions whilst I was getting tattooed, I did, and I ended up learning a lot about the industry and about how they themselves got into tattooing - I heard lots of stories and gained really valuable insights that helped me to build up a pathway in my mind of how I might be able to do it too. I then spent about another year working on my portfolio, improving my drawing and painting; and finally I began researching all the tattoo studios and tattooists that were in my area, to see where I could go first and ask about an apprenticeship. I was living in Plymouth at the time, and the tattoo studio Attica was my first choice. I took my portfolio in very nervously - they asked me to improve on a few aspects of my work and come back in a month or so, which I did, and luckily after that they took me on. I felt very lucky to get an apprenticeship at a studio I had chosen. I predominantly learnt under Steve McKenzie, but Martin Tay and Paige Spurdle who were also tattooing there at the time inspired and taught me a lot too, and I’m very grateful to all those guys for their support at the start of my career. 

 

 

If you *had* to pick... what kind of tatt is your favourite to do?

 

Oh man I don’t think I can choose! I absolutely love tattooing ornamental and botanical work in equal measure. Some days I feel like doing one more than the other, but I love them both so much for different reasons. Ornamental work is more stressful to do because of the emphasis on symmetry, there really isn’t much room to fuck up, but the finished piece is always so beautiful, it has such a high reward factor for me, and I just love how timeless and gorgeous it is. On the other hand, tattooing plants and flowers feels really organic and fluid to me, and I love making those pieces flow with the body. Nature is always my first source of inspiration and tattooing natural imagery feels like making a homage to it every time.

 

 

You travel around a lot, to different studios (y'know, in a normal year). Do you have a favourite place? Is there anywhere else you wanna go? 

 

I miss guest spots so, so much. I just love it, I love going to different studios and meeting different artists, and being able to work and travel is amazing. It always makes me so anxious but I manage to get through it somehow! I love returning to places, it’s like getting to know someone - Edinburgh, London, Brighton and Amsterdam will always be some of my favourite places to guest. In future I would absolutely love to tattoo in Germany, and closer to home I’d really like to return to my dear friend Meg Langdale in Leicester - she’s opened her own studio now, and I can’t wait to visit. 


 

Photo from Ella's portfolio.

 


Soooooo, how was your 2020? How did you find the lockdowns? 

 

Mate, it’s been unlike anything. Time has gone so fast and so slow. I feel totally stagnant, like things have really come to a halt. I miss my friends and family SO much it breaks my heart, I miss hugs and spontaneous plans and mundane normality, I feel like I am craving for community and belonging. I’ve felt so disconnected from tattooing, and consequently from my sense of purpose and meaning. There’s been a lot of days spent literally atrophying into the sofa. Some personal hurdles were made extra hard to navigate because of the pandemic, which was very tough. I feel so fucking angry and bewildered at our decision makers and at the wider political landscape, and so sad for what’s unfolding around us. And I also feel incredibly lucky to have been able to spend lockdown isolating safely at home, with a lot of time on my hands to pursue creative projects. I’ve loved getting into lino printing and having more time to make art for myself, I’ve been painting and drawing, knitting, making weird little clay sculptures, reading books, playing Animal Crossing. I really enjoyed those sunny days in lockdown last year, I spent weeks just perched on our fire escape landing (aka our “garden”), painting and sunbathing. I feel very grateful to my boyfriend for his company and support, we’ve kept each other relatively sane! But yeah man just fucking all over the place really lol. I think the general overall flavour is a spice level 10 mix of “God I am lucky”, “when will this end”, “total lethargy” and “eternal Twitter doom scroll”. 

I hope your 2020 and lockdown were okay too Grace, you’ve been a beacon of relatable honesty and positivity throughout. 



Photo from Ella's portfolio.

 

What is a life/career dream you want to pursue someday? 

 

Oooh, okay! I’ve been trying to get my mojo back and think about the future again recently, it feels very wafty and vague atm, but I keep coming back to the idea of somehow co-operating a community art space, with some other people. And it would be a place to tattoo from, and it would function as a studio in that regard, but also it would be a place for people in the community to gather and run art workshops, or do painting evenings, or exhibit artworks. A print-making space and a place to sell flowers. To make music in and also do knitting evenings. Literally just like, a hub, a heartbeat, something heavily community orientated and also private enough that you wouldn’t get loads of daytime drunk walk-ins or people enquiring about laser removal. I have no idea where it would be or what it looks like exactly. I just love the idea of working in a multi-disciplinary space, where creative people feel at home and where we support each other. So that’s my quiet dream, just bobbing along in the background of my mind. I’m sure that’s a way down the road but it’s something I think about a lot. I’d love to travel more as well, for leisure and work. And my boyfriend and I really, really, really fucking want a cat and a garden, so moving house would be incredible too. 



Thanks so much for your lovely questions Grace, it’s been a pleasure to sit down and answer them, and I hope you are well and safe ~ wishing you loads of love for 2021! xxxxxx

 

Thanks so much for chatting with me via email, Ella. Maybe someday we can go for coffee/gin again… 

 

Ella is an angel, readers, and a genuinely wonderful creative soul. Check out her portfolio now, and her super cool art projects. Then follow her on Instagram, obviously. 


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Self-isolation, Part ??? who knows.

17 January 2021 • , ,

10 days ago, I was instructed to self-isolate because I'd been in contact with someone who had tested positive for Covid. I was aware of who it was, which was good - I would have gone mad wondering, otherwise - but that didn't make the pill any easier to swallow. I was suddenly overcome with flashbacks to my shielding days, and could almost feel the freedom I'd been reveling in being pulled out from under my feet. All the seafront walks, takeaway coffees, waving at friends as I passed them in town, my safe boyfriend bubble - gone, in an instant. Because I'd spent 20 minutes one Tuesday morning in the same room as someone (both of us socially distanced, wearing face coverings) who had tested positive the next day. 


I am so happy and relieved to share that in these past 10 days I have not noticed any symptoms, and am currently waiting on the results of a second test (the first was negative). I plan on going for a walk with my partner (who has also been isolating, as he was in contact with me the day after I was in contact with The Positive Person) along the seafront tonight at 00:01, to celebrate our freedom. Romantic and adorable, no? Like some kind of dystopian indie movie. 




Photo by the wonderful Sophie Mayanne, for Getty Images.


I'm almost sorry I haven't written anything on here since this latest isolation was invoked. When I had to isolate/shield early last year, I documented it pretty well, I think. That was partly because I had nothing else to do, and the creative block hadn't quite kicked in yet (that happened in lockdown part deux). I wrote about all the reading I'd been able to get done, I answered some sex questions, I did some more reading reviews, I took on a new social media job at Eggtooth and started working with them as a creative writing mentor for referred young people. 


I wrote a few sponsored posts during that first lockdown, too! The brilliant Helena Traill let me write a piece about the wonderful launch event for her 100 Stories book, which was so fun to do. I wrote on the blog about distance learning, a lovely Dorset staycation, the different definitions of ability, even a lighting company! I remember being a little apprehensive when I volunteered to write these posts because the specs were a little out of the ordinary for me and my little corner of the internet. But I took on the challenges, and my confidence in copy/content writing really grew from there. 


I joined some creative writing workshops on Zoom, and published one of the pieces I wrote, which I was especially proud of. And in this latest lockdown I'm going even bigger, and actually trying to write up that book I have stuck in my head. Wish me luck. 


And when I came out of lockdown (part one) I wrote a hefty post detailing almost everything I'd done. 


I'm definitely less hyper-emotional this time. I've actually felt super happy! How wild is that? I suspect the alone time is what's doing it; I needed to take myself away from the hectic outside world and make some time for me. I reckon my new evening routines have also given me a boost, and a gentle shake. Most evenings I will usually spend lazing in front of the TV, eating everything within reach (nothing wrong with that, folks, but it does make me feel a bit blehhhh after a while) and endlessly scrolling on my phone. This changed a few nights ago when I decided to skip my morning shower and leave it till the evening after I'd stripped and re-made my bed; I washed my hair and body, covered myself in Sleepy body lotion, put on some fresh pyjamas and tucked myself in with a hot water bottle and a book, at 9:30pm. It was an absolute dream. I slept well, I felt fresh in the morning, and my super clean hair wasn't fuzzy and tufty as it usually is right after a wash, because I'd slept on it and made it softer. It sounds so simple, but this little switch up changed the game for me. I don't know if I can keep it up, but I'll try. It was also really helpful in the mornings not to have to shower and put my face on, because that can actually take me a while and mess up my timings. This would be especially inconvenient these days, as I have started a new job. 




Photo by the wonderful Sophie Mayanne, for Getty Images.



Oh, what's that? A new job? Yep. For the time being, while I'm not with the team in my lovely shop, the wonderful company I work for offered me the opportunity to work with the Customer Care team for a few weeks. So, until potentially the end of this lockdown, I will be working 10-6 (very civilised) Mon-Fri answering customers' emails and queries, checking up on their orders, sending them goodies, and also doing shifts on the brand's social media account. I do miss chatting and bonding with people face-to-face in the shop - and hanging out with my team of queens in the staff room, all of us munching on bourbons and drinking only the best looseleaf tea (okay fine, it's instant coffee for me), but this is the best situation to be in right now, to be honest. I am so grateful to not be furloughed because my rent isn't getting any cheaper, plus this work is definitely keeping me busy, and it's so good for me to actually have a routine for once in my life. I'm so lucky. I appreciate how fortunate I am. I hate that so many people have lost work since the lockdown(s), and I am raging at the government for letting the first round of furlough run out before they revealed there would be more, because so many people I know had to be laid off once the scheme 'ran out'. 


I do wonder what will happen, after all this madness ends. Obviously I know there will be no 'going back to normal', because really, normal isn't possible now. I know we'll probably never go bowling again. Or be allowed to test out mattresses in the store. Or try on clothes in fitting rooms - or return them, after they've been in our households. And I know it will be a good year at least before we can go out-out again. I wonder if hand-shaking will finally be scrapped. I won't miss it much. I will miss the theatre, and the cinema. They weren't just shows and films, they were experiences, the most romantic dates and exciting gatherings. Sigh... what do you think will happen? 


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