Recent Reads; ashes, mountains, fandom, femininity and the evils of social media.

5 November 2019 • , , , , , , ,

Oh hey, my bookish friends. It’s been a while. I promise I have been reading this year… I just haven’t been writing about it as much, for some reason. Let’s fix that now, eh? 

Here are a few of my reads from earlier in 2019…




Heartstream, by Tom Pollock.

It’s no secret how much I love and loathe Tom and his brilliantly, terrifyingly, whip smart and wicked writing. The first novel of his I read, ‘White Rabbit, Red Wolf’, was hands down my best read of 2018.

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44.

22 October 2019 • ,

Hi, I’m Grace.
The Berlin Botanical Garden. Such cacti. In my element.

I am addicted to Words With Friends, I'm a sucker for 90s fashion, I'm suddenly playing podcasts all the time instead of music, my GP is super sassy, I got a beautiful new bike recently (for free, from my friend at my local train station), I am short sighted, I don’t much care for Halloween but am excited to go to a costume party, I have so many photos from my last trip abroad but no idea what to do with them, Greg James told me I had a lovely voice and should start a podcast, I'm off to Amsterdam in 2020 and am open to any/all recs (!?), I really think my yoga teacher is lovelier than yours, I'm having a mental clear out, and archiving some of my old blog posts reminded me of who I used to be, and how far I've come. 

I also booked myself in for an MRI recently – on a date and at a time that suits me. I actually made my illness fit within my life, not the other way around. It only took me 5 years. 
 
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Things I forgot to say when I guested on F**ks Given!

17 October 2019 • , , , ,

DISCLAIMER: THIS POST IS V V SEXY. Parents, other family members, family friends, basically anyone who thinks of me as a sexless and wholesome being, please do not read any further. Ta. 


Okay so, I was utterly thrilled to be a guest on one of my favourite podcasts recently; F**ks Given, hosted by the formidable Florence and Reed, aka Come Curious, a show that invites guests to chat about ‘all things sexy’ and smash the taboo that still surrounds sexuality, kinks and 'body counts'.

I have listened to this podcast since it began, and it wasn’t long before I started dreaming up my own responses to the questions Florence and Reed ask their guests. So when we started following each other (as in, me and @comecurious; the two hosts are @reedamberx and @florencebark respectively) on social media, I thought ‘OOOHHH, I’m in!’, and I probably would have been asked if I’d just waited patiently but noooo, Drunk Me decided one evening that patience was for suckers and dived right in with a tweet (it went something like ‘I am GAGGING to be on the show, holy sh*t’). Fortunately, I was taken up on my offer (/not-so-subtle demand). 


Low key freaking out.
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'Noises Off', a review.

16 October 2019 • , , , ,

– Tickets to this show were given to me in exchange for a review.
This in no way affects my opinion of the production. –

I thoroughly enjoyed the madness of ‘Noises Off’, the most spectacular witty farce, at the Garrick Theatre last week. 

I knew next to nothing about it, going in. But sometimes I like to do that when I’m seeing a show; I’ll only watch a quick trailer or check out the company’s social media accounts before I collect my tickets and strap in on the night. I had heard that this play was a revival of sorts; it’s a classic comedy by Michael Frayn which has transferred to the Garrick after a fabulous run at the Lyric Hammersmith.  

Now, for the plot – or is it a plot within a plot? Well, it’s a play within a play… 


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Don't Let Anxious Thoughts Control You*

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~ This post was written by a contributor ~
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My speech for Women's Voice, in Hastings; The Importance of Curiosity, Openness and Honesty.

12 October 2019 • , , , ,

I recently had the wonderful opportunity to speak at a Women's Voice event at the lovely venue OPEN in St Leonards-on-Sea, thanks to my dear friends at Eggtooth. I knew I wanted to speak, but for ages I struggled with finding a clear topic; the obvious choices were big things like my health, my scars, my love for my body, my love for bourbon biscuits... but finally, with my gal Lilly's help, I landed on something. 

I posted on Instagram about the event, inviting people to come along (thank you for being my support, Queen Clare!) and asking if anyone would want to read my speech on the blog. I got a handful of yeses, and that's enough for me! Here you go... 


These Yaks, though.

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Dyslexia Awareness Week, 2019.

8 October 2019 • , , ,

Lovely readers (of all abilities!) I am so excited to be doing a post to coincide with Dyslexia Awareness Week – and even more so because I have had the chance to interview the lovely Kirstin at Barrington Stoke, the super awesome dyslexia-friendly publishers, about this special week and the work they do to make reading more accessible for children and young adults. I hope you all enjoy this little collaboration – and feel free to comment or tweet me, Kirstin and/or Barrington Stoke with any further questions you may have. 


Lovely Kirstin, could you please tell us a little about yourself and your role at Barrington Stoke? How long have you worked for the publisher, what is a highlight of your job?

Thanks for having me on your blog, lovely Grace! I am the PR and Rights Manager at Barrington Stoke. I started as an intern over seven(!) years ago and simply never left. My role's changed and shifted in that time, and now I wear a couple of different hats – I am responsible for all the PR for the company, running campaigns, sorting all events, conferences and festivals, and generally anything to do with press and messaging. Then I'm also responsible for selling our titles into other languages and selling other subsidiary rights like extracts, audio and adaptations. It's a fast and busy job with lots of going on, but the absolute best thing about it is the impact you can see the books having – not a week goes by where we don't have a parent, teacher, librarian, bookseller or even a child themself contacting us to share their story about what a difference the books have made. It's incredible.
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The moment when you know.

27 September 2019 • , , , ,

I’m not sure when I knew. There was no exact, pinpointed moment; it felt like a huge dark cloud coming over me, enveloping me, for months. I just... knew. 


(Photo: Erin Veness)


I recently listened to some older episodes of Jules and Sarah’s quite brilliant podcast, Wobble. It’s a show about mental health, self care, and body positivity. The guests are incredible, too; Claudia Winkleman, Megan Crabbe (the one and only @bodyposipanda), Jamie Windust (perhaps better known as @leopardprintelephant), Lucy Sheridan (absolute angel @lucysheridan) and Lauren Mahon (blogger/social media wizard @iamlaurenmahon and also badass creator of @girlvscancer), to name a few. But the episode with the latter (hehehe) was what hit me hardest – of course, because y’know, cancer. 

I adore Lauren. She inspires me endlessly; imagine learning you had breast cancer (despite having, as Lozza says, no tits) and then not just telling your massive following on social media, and keeping them all updated throughout the journey you then go on with treatment and surgery, but ALSO creating your own business, Girl vs Cancer – oh, and then raising over £18,000 (at time of recording this podcast ep) for breast cancer charities. I mean, whut? Idol. 

Anyway, gushing over. Lauren said in the episode that she knew, as soon as they took a boob biopsy and said they’d have her results the following week, that she had cancer. She said it was horrible, because she literally went from feeling perfectly normal, the only thing out of the ordinary being a lump somewhere it really shouldn’t be... to getting slapped with the C-word and having her whole life flipped upside down. 

It made me think back to the start of my journey (god, it feels so cheesy and fluffy calling it that; it didn’t feel like an epic, colourful adventure, more like a ghost train of terror whirling through the darkness at great speed for many, many months... but 'journey' is easier to say) and I wondered when exactly I knew. Honestly, I’m not sure. But I think I can trace it back to the neurologist, saying casually as I left his office (literally, as my hand closed around the door handle) ‘Oh, we’ll book you in for a brain MRI as well. This isn’t usually how a brain tumour presents itself, but it’s worth checking just to rule it out.’ 

 Then I had the words ‘brain tumour’ in my head for the following couple of weeks leading up to that impromptu, ‘just in case’ scan. I joked about it with friends (‘oh, I can’t move my arm that much. Y’know, because of my tumour. Hahaha’), but worried quietly to myself, because it made so much sense to me suddenly. I think I knew, then. Still, it wasn’t until I peeked out of the MRI (through the mirror they attached to my head brace) and saw the cluster of radiographers crowded around the computer screen, that I truly believed it. Then a day later, a specialist confirmed that there was Something There, and booked me in for an urgent consultation with a neurosurgeon. 

 It was as he said 'a mass in your brain' that the most peculiar relief began to roll deeply through my whole body. Because finally, there was an answer. Finally, we knew what had to be done. Oh sure, they had no clue what exactly was lurking amongst my more normal cells, but it was a start. It was enough. 


(Photo: Erin Veness)


Can you imagine if I hadn’t had that scan booked in? If the specialist hadn’t had that impulse, at the last minute as I left his office after a good half hour of trying to hold both arms up, hand write a complete sentence, and walk down a corridor in a straight line – relatively easy tasks when you’re healthy,  but quite a bit trickier when you’ve got a tumour and cysts growing and bumping around inside your brain – who knows where I'd be now. Or what would have happened, further down the line. Of course, we're not supposed to think like that, because the important thing is something was done, and it's all okay now (sort of). Maybe it's just how my messed up brain works; I'll always wonder what could have been. I like to think my gut instinct, my inexplicable, innate knowing, would have got me to the right people and the best place in the end. And honestly, since that revelation that my gut and brain can work together (despite their respective difficulties and differences) changed me massively. I now book a GP appointment the second I get any inklings. I have even been admitted into hospital, after hours in A&E, almost yelling at a consultant urgently to put me in the CT scanner. I am not afraid of seeming crazy, or deluded. I trust my instincts now. 

 If any of this waffle makes sense to you, dear readers, please let me know (via tweet or comment). And if it rings a few alarm bells in your brain (or any key organ, for that matter) then don't hesitate to reach out; to me, even to Lauren maybe, and definitely to your GP – to anyone who can listen, and help you. 


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