Saturday, 24 September 2011

I'm a romantic.

I hate cheesy love songs, I scoff at couples who declare their love for one another with little hearts and kisses on Facebook, and if I see two people being overly affectionate in public, I will always shout: "get a room!"

But I like hearing stories about how couples first met, I love the private jokes two people can share, and I adore receiving little love notes and messages.

I know I don't look it, or act like it, but I've always been the kind of girl who wouldn't object to being totally swept off her feet.

The past two nights at uni, I've gone out with some friends. We checked out the city nightlife one night, then went to the "Back to School" Freshers Party the next. I had a really great time, and I even met a few lovely guys... Two guys gave me their number (I'm always cautious about giving mine to anyone), and made me promise to call or text them. That was a new experience for me - I've never done the "meeting people in bars" thing. It was perfectly innocent, but my roommates are giving me hell about it. I have five people living with me in my student house, and they are all in serious relationships. I'm "the single one". So they all tease me relentlessly whenever I dance, flirt or even just chat with a guy on campus. It was funny at first, but now I kind of resent them for it. In fact, I'm almost hoping that their relationships don't last, just so they won't pick on me any more.

One pet hate of mine is drunken kissing. At the Freshers Party, as the night progressed, the amount of kissing going on was ridiculous, almost obscene. I will happily chat to someone at a party, give them my number, etc. but I will never kiss them. I just feel like it takes all the romance away. Your first kiss with someone should be exciting, highly anticipated and just sweet. Surely that's better than smashing your face against someone in a club while the music is blaring all around you, just tasting a mixture of alcohol, sweat and poor judgement, and not really feeling... Anything.

I went to see 'Friends With Benefits' earlier this week with one of my best guy friends (he claimed he was "insinuating something"), and while I laughed almost the whole way through, I also thought there was a really important message buried within this seemingly harmless, fluffy and downright silly film. Sure, you can have a "friend with benefits", you can have "something casual"... But it can never stay that way. Someone will always want something more, and someone will always get hurt.

Justin and Mila, oh so naive.

Right now, at this point in my life, I feel like a "friend with benefits" is exactly what I need. I don't want to get bogged down in a full-on relationship just yet; in fact, for a really long time now I've been convinced that I will never want a major relationship ever again. I said to my friends the other night: "I don't want another boyfriend, because I don't want another ex-boyfriend."
And I stand by those words. I only have one ex-boyfriend, and after everything that I've gone through in the eight months since he became my ex-boyfriend, I just don't think I could handle having another one.

But at the same time I want someone to make me smile when I wake up, tell me I'm beautiful and surprise me every day. I want someone to be romantic with. x

Thursday, 22 September 2011

I'm here.

The story so far... I cried when my mum said goodbye, I've gone a little overboard trying to make my room look "homey", I've tackled the daunting task of cooking my first meal (and washing up afterwards), got to know my housemates, officially enrolled, got my student ID card (and actually like the picture on it), identified a university hoody I will be buying purely to wear when at home with my family, taken a chlamydia test (because the campus nurse made me feel like a slag), got a load of freebies (including a lollipop, a Bacardi bracelet and plenty of condoms - student stereotyping anyone?), checked out the eye candy on campus (not too shabby), spent all day today trying to access the internet, Skyped my family and even found time to be cheeky. Not bad for the first two days. Tomorrow, the adventure continues as I venture into the city with my housemates! Stay tuned for more exciting antics of Gracie, the Uni Student! (Anyone wanna give me a better superhero name?) x

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

I've spent my last day at home frantically packing, having a last-minute check-up at the dentist, printing photos, transferring my iTunes from one computer to another, buying myself a beautiful jewellery stand for my new bedroom, and seeing my best friend for one final "True Blood and chocolate" session.
I've spent my last night at home doing Zumba with my friends and family, eating egg and beans for dinner, watching the episode of Gilmore Girls where Rory goes off to college (it seemed appropriate) with my mum and sister, and sharing a whole box of After Eights.

It's been perfect. x

Monday, 19 September 2011

"See you at Christmas."

Those four words are all I've been hearing recently. Slowly but surely, the majority of us are making our way into the world. We're spreading out across the country, with our lives in cardboard boxes and a big scary future ahead of us. We've all downloaded Skype and promised to use it as much as possible, taken the CDs and DVDs in our homes that are rightfully ours, packed more clothes than we will ever need and bought toiletries in bulk. We've studied our student cookbooks, done the shopping for kitchen paraphernalia, debated whether or not we really need a dressing gown and realised we have no idea how to operate a washing machine. We've talked about nothing else for weeks, felt totally overwhelmed and wondered what life is going to be like from now on. Are we ready for this? Will we miss our families? Have we done everything we possibly can to prepare?

I guess we'll find out soon enough. We're all in the same boat; we're all totally alone. x

Tuesday, 13 September 2011

"You've changed".

That was all I heard from my school friends last year. As soon as I started college, a different college to the one they all chose to attend, I also started hearing comments on a daily basis about how much I'd "changed"; my every move was scrutinized, my every word was analysed and my every belief was questioned. After a while I grew tired of hearing about how "different" I'd become, and I began to wonder why these people who were supposed to be my best friends were suddenly so unsatisfied with me. When you're friends with someone, you love them no matter what, right?

That wasn't even the point, though. It wasn't the fact that I was changing, it was that they were not. On paper, it looked for all the world that they had left school, but in spirit... They really hadn't. How can you really grow as a person when you're surrounded by the same people you've known for five years at school? What they failed to grasp is that I had made the difficult decision to move on from school to a college that none of my friends were going to, where I barely knew anyone, but where I knew I'd be happy.

And now, two years on, I can honestly say that I don't regret this decision for one minute. I often wonder what my life would be like if I'd followed the crowd and gone to the college that pretty much everyone in my school year had chosen to go to. I'm pretty sure that if I had, I'd be nowhere near as happy as I am today. In these last two years I've met some amazing people, learned so much about myself, and made some friends that I know are for life. I've had so many laughs, a few tears, and moments that I will never forget. I even managed to get three A Levels done somewhere along the way.
Yes, I've changed. But for the better. Sadly, most of my old friends either changed for the worse, or didn't change at all.
I'd say I've become a more responsible, generous, honest and cheerful person. I've figured out what I believe in, formed a decent set of principles, broken some rules and learned some valuable lessons. I've changed in a few smaller ways too: I've actually started watching The X Factor, I appreciate dirty jokes, I've gained a couple more piercings, I've learned how to flirt and I've realised what I want to do with my life. Just thought I'd clear this one up: change is good for you. x

PS: I'm aware that I'll probably get into trouble for this post. Oh well. x

Saturday, 10 September 2011

The Age-Old Question.

Can a boy and a girl ever be "just friends"?

I've given this a lot of thought, and examined all my relationships with members of the opposite sex, and I think most of us girls have the same set of male relationships: the classic ex-boyfriend who says "we can still be (best) friends", the best guy friend who is secretly in love with you, the boy who is everything you need but you just don't feel that way about him, the boy you consider a great friend but question his choice of girlfriends, the gay best friend who doesn't know he's gay yet, the boy who becomes your boyfriend when you're both drunk, the good friend who you share a complicated history with... The list goes on.

I get a lot of grief for being affectionate with my male friends. I will hug them and kiss them on the cheek, tell them I love them and say things like: "where have you been all my life?" when I bump into them in public. This behaviour has earned me some pretty harsh judgement and even a few enemies. However, if I exhibit exactly the same affection with my female friends, nobody says a word.

And of course, the level of affection between friends either decreases or intensifies dramatically once alcohol is introduced. The other night, I found myself hugging people I knew from my Sociology class and have barely exchanged fifty words with (boys and girls), and kissing my best friends repeatedly on the lips (boys and girls). I got several drunken phone calls last night from one of my male friends (I would categorize him as: "the good friend who you share a complicated history with" and also "the boy who becomes your boyfriend when you're both drunk") and he told me he loved me, he missed me and he wanted me "right now please please please".

I have kissed several of my male friends, and spent the night with two of them. I still consider the latter two as close friends, although I am in serious danger of falling in love with one of them. This just proves that there is a very fine line between friends and "something more".
I discussed this at length with my mum once (neglecting to mention that I've slept with two of my male friends) and she simply said: "you NEED to watch 'When Harry Met Sally'."
So that's what I'll do. Maybe Billy and Meg can give me some guidance... x


Hi, my name's Gracie. I hate copycats, I think it's better to say nothing than to say something I'll regret later, I remember everything, I will never understand other girls' behaviour, I've had a one night stand, I paint my nails every day, I never wear heels on a night out, I'm obsessed with chiffon, I love driving, my favourite drink is anything with Malibu, I live for random phone calls, I'm in love again, I get my incredible sense of loyalty from my mum, I worry that my cat will forget me when I leave home, I'm going to university soon, and I know I'll be okay.

I do one of these posts every month. x

Sunday, 4 September 2011

OneNightStand-itis. [wun-nyt-stand-eye-tus] .noun.
A form of disease that manifests itself within one's mind and relentlessly torments the afflicted.
The early symptoms of this disease are actually rather pleasant; the afflicted person feels happy, confident and self-assured, however soon these positive feelings turn to those of guilt, shame and in some cases self-loathing.

© Vicky G and Gracie L. x
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