Wednesday, 30 May 2018

Consent, 29/05/2018; a review.

TW: rape.

Last night I saw Nina Raine’s ‘blistering new play’ (New York Times), Consent’. The play, directed by Roger Michell, has opened at the Harold Pinter Theatre after a sold out season at the National.

Saturday, 26 May 2018

What not to say.

TW: cancer.

Words are powerful. It's quite amazing how many we have at our disposal when writing, reading or conversing; how we're sometimes able to write our feelings down perfectly in letters, directly quote books or authors that have inspired us, and express ourselves effectively when talking with loved ones. 

And sometimes, we simply have to grab a pen and highlight a snippet of prose that speaks to us. We call our best friends after a few drinks to tell them how much we love them. We create a blog when we're crippled by the most intense crush on the cutie in our college Drama class (just me? Okay...). 

But it's also astonishing how sometimes, words can fail us. How quickly we can forget what's been said. And how some words can stop us dead. 

Words like 'cancer'.

(Photo: Erin Veness)

Friday, 25 May 2018

A beginning.

~ January 2018 ~

So. It sounds like illness has dominated your life – been your definition, almost – for years. And now, you’re coming out of it, and you’re wondering...who am I?’ She says, putting the folder down and looking at me kindly over a pair of glasses. 

I give a shy smile. I can feel myself opening up, and I’m excited. ‘Yes, I think so.’


(Photo: Erin Veness)

Later, I sign myself out, I thank the receptionists, and I walk outside. The cool air hits me, and I pull my jacket tighter around myself, pressing my woollen hat down on my forehead. I stop as I do it, hold my head in my raised hands, I gasp, and cry. Just for a few seconds. I feel the enormity of what's about to happen, and how badly I need it. I wonder where I'll be in 10 weeks time. Somewhere better, I think. 

Then I straighten up, stick my chin out, and walk on. 


(Photo: Erin Veness)


I wrote this not long after my first counselling session, back in January. My 10 weeks of therapy ended in March, and just the other day when I was really struggling again, I was offered another slot with my counsellor - and I grabbed it. I'm still working on me. ~

Thursday, 24 May 2018

Matilda the Musical, 23/05/2018; a review.

I saw 'Matilda the Musical' at the Cambridge Theatre on Wednesday, the 23rd of May. This show has been in the West End for almost 7 years now, after opening in October 2011, and is currently booking until February 2019. It's safe to say it's a West End staple, at this point. The RSC (one of my all-time favourite companies) absolutely nailed it with this one. 


(source: Matilda Musical UK)


Matilda the Musical tells the story of a young girl of incredible intelligence who is determined to change her own story, even if it means being a little bit naughty...

Sunday, 20 May 2018

Some very morbid plans.

Does anyone else ever think about how they’re going to die? Or maybe, what will happen when they’re dead? Just me? Okay then…

I’ve been thinking about it quite a bit, after my last appointment with my wonderful neurosurgeon. He confirmed that I am still stable (yay!) and then said, quite confidently, that he thinks it’s more likely I’ll pass away due to old age, rather than my t-word finishing me off. 


(Photo: Erin Veness)

Friday, 18 May 2018

An ending.

~ February, 2016 ~

After it happened, a burst of wrenching fire tearing through the air above us as we drank coffee – well, I did, after I said the words you pushed away your mocha and left it to go cold – we walked to the station together in near complete silence. I wish you’d seen inside my head, then; I was full of words I didn’t dare utter, I almost took it all back, because I couldn’t stand to see you so hurt. Hurt by me. It was stamped hard on your lovely face. It looked like someone had thrown you off a bridge, and run away laughing. 

(Photo: Erin Veness)

Thursday, 17 May 2018

Recent Reads: The 16th and 17th 2018!

My recent reads have brought me out of a nasty slump, and for that I am so grateful. I also admire both the books' authors, for very different reasons...we'll get to that. 

'Places I Stopped on the Way Home: A Memoir of Chaos and Grace' is a beautiful collection of essays by Meg Fee (and the other night I got to see her in conversation with Laura Jane Williams at The Owl Bookshop; it was a DREAM) about her life in New York; her at times desperate search for a home to call her own, her great loves, and more turbulent relationships. It was a total treat to read. 


Wednesday, 16 May 2018

Strictly Ballroom, 15/05/2018; a review.

I got to see 'Strictly Ballroom' at the Piccadilly Theatre last night. I took Mama Latter; she seemed the best choice for this theatre date, as she's an Aussie and major fan of the film. She also insisted I take her, or else...


I personally am a major fan of Strictly Come Dancing, the brilliant 80s soundtrack, and Will Young. So before we even went in, I was sold.  

Saturday, 12 May 2018

Am I vain?

'I often find my mind wandering,' I said to my counsellor, 'when I'm talking to someone, or meant to be listening to something, or driving, or running errands...and I am almost always thinking about myself.'

Right, so....I think about myself. A lot. 

(Photo: Erin Veness)

I've already written about my Busy Brain; how often I worry that the inside of my head is just a swirling vortex of terror made up of my most unpleasant memories that surface at the worst possible times and awful thoughts threatening to spill out of my mouth for all to hear...while at the same time it's constantly streaming warm and cosy episodes of 'Gilmore Girls' and conjuring up sexy scenes with Chris Hemsworth, in which we eat the very best vegan food on the planet before turning in for a night of mischief...but also, my brain is obsessed with me

Wednesday, 9 May 2018

SOAP @ Underbelly, 8/05/2018; a review.

I went to see 'SOAP' at the Underbelly Festival last night, with my fellow theatre nerd Ella, and it was...completely ridiculous. 


(source: SOAP - The Show FB)


I don't know when exactly I became a circus fangirl...but I'm not complaining. Seeing contortionists and aerial artists twist and turn, and watching funny skits with audience members, is fast becoming one of my favourite forms of theatre. 

Monday, 7 May 2018

The things I can't ignore.

I came across Kelsey J Barnes’ TinyLetter some time ago – and miraculously, it seems to be one of the few that actually land in my inbox, despite subscribing to several since? Gmail, sort your sh*t out.  

Anyway, Kelsey wrote a little something entitled ‘10 Things Ex-Lovers Ruined For Me’ (‘because of their need to introduce me to songs, books and other things that now appear at random moments in my life without warning’). It of course moved me, and inspired me to write something similar. 

But I won’t be writing a list. Because when I settled down to actually pull together all the things I remember, and am now somewhat sensitive about doing/seeing/hearing...it didn’t all come to me in a neat little list. It flooded in like a storm at sea, throwing everything up around me and trying to suck me in.


These are the things I cannot ignore. The things I think of, and the things I miss. 


(Photo: Lex Brookman)

Friday, 4 May 2018

Dating myself.

I go on solo dates very often, these days. Sometimes they’re small – just a quick coffee and a few pages of a book, or a drink in the pub before my friends arrive. Sometimes they’re bigger – a trip to the cinema, the odd gig, a lunch out in London between meetings...

(Photo: Erin Veness)

Wednesday, 2 May 2018

The pin-tastic Old English Co.!

So, you all know I absolutely love cute and quirky accessories, right? Well, over the past few years I've been splashing out on adorable enamel pins for my backpacks, dungarees and jackets. I have a whole collection of bookmarks on my Instagram profile entitled 'perfect pins'! 


(source: Old English Co.)


Every single one I've ever bought has reflected some element of my personality – a cup of coffee, a cat, even little words I particularly like, and my cousins got me a perfect bookish one for Christmas. 

I recently discovered Old English Co., a brilliant company specialising in prints, homeware, stationary...and pins. Their enamel pins are absolutely brilliant; I think when I first browsed that area of the website I bookmarked approximately 20 of them to buy on a future payday...! 

So I thought I'd share some of my favourites with you  and any fellow pin lovers...

(Click the images for the links!)


(source: Old English Co.)
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