What I got up to in lockdown.
26 July 2020 • shielding
Let me start this jolly list-post with a casual but firm reminder that lockdown isn’t old news. In my honest opinion, it should still be in effect because we have a lot still to fear… but then at the same time, it’s my birthday this weekend coming and I want to have all my friends with me for it. Tough time for my principles, to be quite honest with you. I appreciate your concern for me.
Anyway, I was told by my beloved NHS that I needed to shield at the end of March, etc., etc., I’m sure you’re sick of hearing about this by now, aren’t you? Well, for those of you who don’t know, I was told I didn’t need to shield so strictly any more, initially by my brilliant endocrinologist, who I spoke to over the phone, on the 13th of May. This was then reinforced by my sassy, caring and no-nonsense GP a couple of hours later, in a phone call that interrupted my 6pm virtual yoga class. He told me I could, in his words, ‘be normal’. I was blown away by the fact that suddenly I was… not actually free, but definitely a lot freer. I went for a seafront walk the next day with my mama, at a safe distance, in the late afternoon. What a moment that was. I can’t lie to you, my readers, after getting a slightly reluctant ‘alright, but maximum PPE and only at anti social times’ OK from another one of my GPs (I need a team of them, I’m very high maintenance y’know), I’d been sneaking out at 7am the odd morning to have a quick walk by myself towards the end of the shielding period. It was vital for my mental health, after all those weeks cooped up in my teeny flat. Rest assured, I’d only dare to take 30-45 mins, and only walk around my block or along to the ‘quiet end’ of the seafront, with clingy gloves and a face mask on. I’d then jump straight in the shower when I got home, and throw all my clothes in the laundry bin. It wasn’t the best practical experience, but it helped my mind enormously. I did feel ashamed, though. That I couldn’t be strong enough to stick to my guns and put up with being indoors and having my step count rarely surpass 500 each day.
So as you can imagine, being able to walk around in full public view, with someone else, was just incredible. That had been one of my little goals... Oh, I’m glad you asked! I came to appreciate setting myself teeny little goals each day in lockdown. I’d tear off a scrap of paper from my notebook and write a short list of tasks/treats I wanted to do, at some point in the 24 hours stretching out endlessly ahead of me. I was very wary of the societal pressure to be ‘productive’ during lockdown; dozens of people I knew were committing to learning a new language, knitting blankets, sewing face masks, setting up an Etsy shop, writing novels (oops, I totally did that one), doing online cooking courses, bingeing whole series on Netflix, becoming addicted to Joe Wicks’s daily PE lessons… I just didn’t want to get on that dangerous hype.
The kind of little goals I’d set myself were: take out recycling, re-pot plants, doodle for 1 hour, finish this series of ‘How to Get Away with Murder’, buy new backpack, video chat with Louise, have coffee out on my roof, finish reading this book, check out ASDA online order… it was very rewarding and calmed my mind, being able to complete ‘tasks’ and tick the little boxes I’d draw next to each bullet point, but not exerting too much energy or putting too much pressure on myself. I’m definitely going to keep doing this, after the Covid madness dies down.
Another
thing I’d recommend you do to feel some satisfaction and low key
retrospective productivity, my friends, is go back through your
diary/calendar/phone/social media posts and make notes of all the
different things you managed to do in lockdown. You’d be
amazed. Also, have a think about just how much time you’ve had to
sit with your thoughts, self care, make measured decisions, and
virtually catch up with friends and family you might not get the
chance to speak to that much, in ‘normal life’.
Okay,
on that pensive note, here’s what yours truly has got up to in the
past 4 months of shielding/’normal’ isolation...
appeared in GRAZIA magazine – the actual print edition, not just online!Became obsessed with the Scrubs podcast, ‘Fake Doctors, Real Friends’ (and their adorable theme song)
started a life coaching course with Tilda Storm
grown several crops of basil, and made pesto out of them, twice. (thank you for the gift, Emma)
bought approximately 29475 plants, and only one has died… so far.
Attended many, many webinars.
Ordered a couple of boxes of doughnuts.
Written a few chapters of a book.
Appeared on the BBC website and social media, talking about being a 20-something shielding.
Spent hours upon hours out on the roof of my neighbour’s kitchen, reading and writing and listening to podcasts.
Got a pretty dope tan, no doubt from the many hours on the roof in the baking sun. Sunglasses tan lines and everything.
Attended several Resonate events via Zoom (and every time I was making, then eating, my dinner, while listening to others reading their poetry or play their music)
clapped for the NHS, and felt warmed by the amount of people across the UK doing the same. Then rolled my eyes at myself, because really, we need to be doing more than just leaning out our windows and slapping our hands together or banging pots and pans once a week. C’mon, people.
Done virtual yoga classes at least once a week (sometimes twice, sometimes thrice).Boogied a lot, live on Instagram. In fact, I did it every morning for a couple of months. It helped me massively.
Did an interview for a Norwegian newspaper (and subsequently had many messages via social media from kind Norwegians).
Done a lot of catch up calls and quizzes with my colleagues (and felt like a nerd, because I miss them and my job so much)
wrote a blog post for Plant Base, one of my favourite vegan cafes like, ever.
Started making the most of little things.
Bonded with my flat (Dora), finally.
Got takeaways from a lot of the local places (and been angry that I had to pay £3 for delivery when normally I could walk to the end of the road to collect).
Washed my clothes in my tiny bath tub, and dried them on the roof.
Watched a LOT of Netflix. (there will be a separate post about that, in myWhat I’ve Watched series, probably)
Done a vlog AND blog posts for The Brain Tumour Charity
Made actual meal plans, based around the expiration dates on fresh foods in my fridge. (WHO AM I)
Written a good few sponsored blog posts, and realised I’m alright at copywriting.
Taken on a couple more social media management jobs… and realised I’m alright at creative caption/post writing. AND spreadsheets.
Downloaded the House Party app, and exclusively used it to watch Drag Race each week with Rikki & Mel.
Ordered Easter doughnuts online to be delivered to the parents’ house, and felt like a top daughter.
Done a few Instagram live streams for my workplace (and really enjoyed them).
Discovered Viv Era vegan meat substitutes. Game changer.
Remembered how much I love doodling, and found a lot of mindfulness in doing it.
Chatted on a few friends’ podcasts (see my socials for links).
Gone for a walk through a park I hadn’t been to since I was tiny.
Changed my invoice format (no joke, this excited me no end. Thanks Penny for the new template!)
Had an MRI and consultation with my neurosurgeon.
Rescheduled my appointment with the super-handsome cosmetic surgeon.
Attended two local (and safely conducted) BLM protests.
Had one of my favourite doggos sleep over at my flat, and then walked him along the seafront the next morning.
Picked up dog poo for the first time in my life, on a busy main road.
Had friends come down to visit me; for doorstep chats at first, then seafront walks.
Moved my furniture around, and got really excited by the minuscule changes it made to the vibes of my rooms.
Ordered books from A Great Read with some of my furlough pay, and then got angry because my furlough pay is quite tragic and I can’t afford such luxuries.
Had so many random acts of kindness from friends, buying me treats from my Amazon wishlist! (and annoyed my neighbours by accidentally making them collect all the deliveries… eventually I got my own doorbell)
Over-watered several of my plants, but only killed one. RIP Charles.
Didn’t wear makeup for approximately 13 weeks, and didn’t miss it at all.
Grew my hair stupidly long, against my will, but ended up liking it a bit.
Become an absolute wizard at making graphics on Canva.
Drunk a lot of gin.
Made friends with a family of foxes.
Photo: Erin
Veness (safe distance etc., etc)
There’s definitely more I’ve done/achieved, but I’ll leave it there for now. What have YOU been up to in lockdown? Anything you’ve learned, or small achievements you want to celebrate? Comment below, or tweet me perhaps. Stay safe, my gang.
More lockdown reads.
11 July 2020 • bookish, recent reads
Remember when I wrote some quick fire reviews of books I read during my shielding days? Well, here are some I read after I was told by my GP that I could ‘be normal’ (ha, as if)…
The Black Flamingo, by Dean Atta.
I read this before the end of May, so when the BLM movement was dominating social media* and folks were asking for recommendations of books by Black authors, I was delighted to see this one was being shouted about. It’s a beautiful story written in verse, about a boy coming to terms with his identity as a mixed-race gay teen, and then getting into drag at university.
Thank you to the friend who sent me this via my Amazon wishlist!
*BLM is still very much on my social media radar, because I follow people who rightfully won’t let it be buried again until the next unjust killing goes viral. Read my Black Lives Matter blog post here.
Oh No, Bobo! By Donna David.
This picture book was sent to me by the very kind author. That doesn’t affect my opinion that it was a lovely story, and while I wasn’t 100% on the wording of it at times, I appreciated that it was a cleverly told tale about the importance of asking permission.
The Strangeworlds Travel Agency, by L.D. Lapinski.
A truly brilliant fantastical story about a young girl who finds escape and friendship in a bizarre little shop full of suitcases through which you can jump in and out of other worlds! L.D is a wonderful writer, and I can’t wait for the next installment in this series.
*This novel may be meant for younger readers, but I found it such a joy to read and have recommended it to folks of all ages.
The Flatshare, by Beth O’Leary.
Believe the hype. I could just leave it at that to be honest, but let me get a little deeper – this is a pretty high concept contemporary about a man and a woman who share a flat and a bed, due to their respective money issues, and while they don’t meet in person, they develop a relationship through sticky notes left on cupboards and pillows. I was also pleasantly surprised by the other story lines, including a manipulative ex-boyfriend, career wobbles and another (very old) love story.
Thank you to Quercus Books for sending me this hardback many moons ago, and apologies it took me so long to read it.
Under a Dancing Star, by Laura Wood.
Yep, I read her YA novel ‘A Sky Painted Gold’ at the beginning of lockdown, and after so many people telling me to read this one too – and a very kind soul sending it to me via my Amazon wishlist! – I finally did. So, Bea and Ben meet in Italy, where Bea has been sent by her parents to stay with her uncle in the hopes that she’ll learn something and mature somewhat, and conduct an experiment – a summer romance. It’s essentially a prequel to Much Ado About Nothing, aka my favourite Shakespeare play. How could I NOT love it?
Laura’s next book, ‘A Snowfall of Silver’ comes out this October, and I will obviously be front of the queue to grab a copy.
The Princess Saves Herself in This One, by Amanda Lovelace.
So this is actually a reread; I do love a good literary tradition, and obviously when silly Timehop reminded me that late June is when, for the past two years, I have read this book and marked the poems that resonate with me the most, obviously I had to do it again. What did I find out about myself, this time round? Well, this year I seem to be a little less bitter.
There we have it. That was alright, wasn’t it? I like doing short reviews. I worry way too much when I’m writing longer ones that I haven’t got every little bit in, or done the book justice – but this way, I’m keeping it light and hopefully piquing your interest.
Please consider shopping at indie bookshops in this difficult time; the bigger book boys don’t need your money as much, trust me. My friend Leena recently highlighted a whole bunch of indies on her Instagram, Books Are My Bag are always shouting out smaller shops, and as always I want to recommend The Big Green Bookshop and A Great Read UK, both of whom are online and don’t just have the best offers, but also the friendliest service. And my local pals (Hastings area), check out Rother Books in Battle, and Hare & Hawthorn in Hastings old town. Have I missed any? Comment below, or tweet me!
Post-lockdown home dreaming!
10 July 2020 • sponsored, tuffx glass
This is another sponsored post! How fabulous.
I don’t know about you, lovely readers, but since lockdown it’s been my mission to make little improvements in my flat. Anyone who follows me on Instagram will have seen that my living room is slowly being taken over by plants; I’m finally framing some artwork to hang off my picture ledge, and I’ve recently invested in a new sparkly shower curtain which has made my teeny windowless bathroom seem HUGE and BRIGHT!?
I can’t do much with this little space, of course. It’s perfect for me right now, sure, but after seeing so many of my pals buying homes and doing them up all over social media (house renovation Instagram accounts are a huge thing now, and they’re kind of addictive, don’t judge me) I have been inspired to look to the future and make some loose plans for my dream home.
This dream home will probably be near where I am now, because I can’t not live by the sea. In lockdown, I’ve come to love the sound of the seagulls every morning outside my window - and I’ve even come to like it when they swoop down and join me on my rooftop! Weird, eh? So yes, I think I’d have to live around here (St Leonards on Sea/Hastings, ideally Hastings Old Town) or somewhere like Brighton. Ideally I’d like an old ‘character’ property, but I know Victorian houses can be a right pain to do up, so maybe a nice 1930s house… Oh, I’m not that much of an expert, my parents are about to move into one of these and it’s pretty cute, and sturdy.
This house would have to have high ceilings, a fireplace, plenty of windows, and some general quirky vibes to it. I’d customise it with some pops of colour and snazzy second hand bits and bobs. Because why go to one of the big warehouse shops for bookcases and cushions, when you can spend a day or two snooping around the local antique shops or charity homewares places for something truly unique?
There are certain things I couldn’t get second hand, mind you. Some things can only be bought new, and aren’t up for compromise. For instance, I’d happily splash out on some big art pieces for the walls. And really, can you honestly say you’d buy and use a second hand fridge/freezer? Yikes.
Now, what about the properly dreamy things you want to add in? Have you ever thought about installing a little water feature, building a fancy kitchen island, or featuring a glass floor in your home? Don’t talk yourself down and worry it’s too dreamy or expensive, because it really doesn’t have to be. Have a look at TuffX Glass now, if you want to add some light and excitement to your new home, or spice up your old place, or bookmark them for the future!
Be happier in your relationships.*
9 July 2020 • contributor
* This post was written by a contributor. *
Something you may ask yourself now and again is whether or not you are truly happy in your relationship. Things go up and down all the time, so there are going to be days when you don’t even want to look at your partner - but that doesn’t mean you don’t want to be with them.
In this article, we’re going to take a look at some of the things that you might want to think about when trying to work out whether or not you are happy in your relationship. Keep reading if you would like to find out more.
Your heart still flutters. If your heart still skips a beat when you see your partner, then that's a good sign. The way that someone makes you feel is often out of your control, but this is a sure fire sign straight to your brain that your heart is happy in there. However, sometimes it can do this even when things aren’t going fantastically because you are in love with them. Sometimes, love just isn’t enough to make a relationship work no matter how badly two people want it to, so maybe take this tip with a pinch of salt.
You're more in love with the memories. One way to know that you’re not happy any more is when you think about your life and realise that you are more in love with the memories you've made than you are with the person right in front of you. It happens more often than you'd think, and it can sometimes take ages to figure this out. It’s never an easy thing to do, but you might need to start looking into separation, even grounds for divorce, if you find that this is the case for you. You are always going to have these memories that you can hold onto, but you both deserve a chance at finding happiness again.
You don't miss them any more. Finally, if you don’t miss them when they aren’t around, are you really happy in your relationship? The answer is probably not. When you love someone, you want to be with them as often as you can. You want to spend time with them, and when they aren’t there, you miss them. But, sometimes in a relationship you lose this and you end up preferring it when they are not there. If this happens, then you’re simply not happy and need to learn to let go for their sake, as well as yours.
We hope that you have found this article helpful, and now have a better grasp on whether or not you are actually happy. If you’re not and it’s not just a phase, it’s time to let go because you will only do yourself more harm than good in the end. If you are happy, then we hope this continues for many years to come!
A Reverse Mortgage, and how it can help you.*
• contributor
This post was written by a contributor.
Have you heard of a reverse mortgage? Maybe you fancy applying for one? Well, here’s what you need to know going in…
Everyone loves the sound of retirement. But the problem is, retirement is only seen as fun when one has the financial capacity for it. At the end of the day, you need that money to start up any pet projects, go on adventures, or shell out for unexpected expenses. As a result, most people look for more financial support at this time — some take out a loan, which sounds okay, but it’s not great for you in the long run. Conventional home loans have their issues that can cause you serious anxiety, especially if you cannot keep up with repayments. However, a reverse mortgage takes away these challenges.
What makes a reverse mortgage different?
Unlike a traditional home loan that just takes your money non-stop without considering your circumstances, a reverse mortgage gives you the financial support to meet your needs and live comfortably. You do not have to worry about repaying the loan immediately, which means that you can enjoy your money as you wish.
Another impressive feature that comes with a reverse loan is that you can reside in your home, even after taking a mortgage on it. The traditional loan puts you at risk of losing your place. There is no way that will happen with a reverse home loan. The only time you can pay back is when you are 100% in a position where you are able to, or put the house up for sale.
If you qualify for a reverse mortgage, your lender will expect you to clear off an existing home loan before accessing the fund for other causes. You cannot have two home loans for a long time. Your long-term loan (reverse mortgage) takes the place of your short-term loan (traditional loan).
How much can you access?
The first question to ask is if you need a loan or not. If you have the financial capacity to cater for your upcoming expenses, then a loan is not necessary. Otherwise, you can apply for a reverse mortgage. Also, your home equity should exceed the amount you intend to borrow. Your lender will determine your eligibility based on the following factors:
Your age
Financial situation
The age of your home
Location
Condition of your home
According to federal law, you can only borrow a percentage of the equity of your home.
How else can you qualify for a reverse mortgage? To begin with, you should be 62 or older to procure a reverse mortgage. This is why most people refer to it as a ‘retirement loan’. There are other ways to qualify for this type of mortgage, apart from using a reverse mortgage calculator. Your lender will run a credit check to determine your financial capacity in paying the property taxes, home insurance, and home maintenance cost.
Additionally, you have to reside in your primary residence permanently. If you have a multiple-unit apartment, it is required that you select one of the units that will serve as your primary residence.
Invest in good electricals when you're in the new house! Check out SOS Electricals.
Black Lives Matter.
• BLM
Read the title again. And again. And then say it to yourself, if you need to. Because it is the absolute truth, and it can’t be ignored any more. It's not okay to be 'not racist'. You have to be absolutely, wholeheartedly anti-racist.
Yeah, I definitely should have posted this earlier. I have no excuses. I’ve had a killer writer’s block situation going on recently, but that’s because I haven’t had a clue what to say and I’ve been trying to listen more.
I have a clue now. I am a very (VERY) privileged white woman, and I need to shut up for a second and give my platforms to others, who aren’t given the opportunity to speak up. So here are some things you need to do, and places you need to go to, right now, if you are like me and want to help others while also educating yourself…
Read this by Fumble. And this one, too.
Find out how you can support the BLM movement in the UK using this open document, by @perkin_amalaraj.
Check out this Finimpact post about supporting small Black-owned businesses.
Go and look at some of favourite blogger/model/influencer humans' content about BLM; Ella (aka Whimsicella), Amyleigh, Nyome, Beth, Stephanie, then follow gal-dem, Rachel Cargle & The Great Unlearn, Layla F. Saad, Char Ellesse, Aja Barber, Ericka Hart, Danielle Coke, Asiyami Gold, Rachel Ricketts AND SO MANY MORE (comment with any other suggestions, please) (also, I would make a list of folks to unfollow because they're damaging and nasty, but that would give them traffic and attention, so nah).
Right. What else? Who else? How else can I help? Hit me up in comments and/or on social media. I'm always open, darlings.
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