Get that spark back.*

31 January 2020

* this post was written by a contributor *

If you’ve noticed that the ‘spark’ has gone from your relationship and you are now more like companions than lovers, you might be looking for ways to reignite that spark and go back to how things were. It depends on other elements in your relationship as to whether this is possible or not, but if you both want to try, then it's worth it.

Here are some of the options we thought of to help you improve your relationship and make it special once more...

Photo by Uriel Mont from Pexels

Try counselling. The idea of relationship counselling might not initially appeal to everyone; after all, talking about the issues in your partnership isn’t comfortable and might bring up more problems than you even realised were there. But this is exactly the reason why this kind of counselling can be so useful. By understanding more about the underlying issues in your relationship, you will have a much better idea of how to fix them. 


Counselling could be the ideal way to start this new period of your marriage or partnership. By speaking to a therapist and discovering more about you both as a couple, you’ll know what to do next and which direction to take things in. 


Date. When you first met your significant other, you likely went on lots of dates with them. This might have been to some nice restaurants or the cinema, for a walk in the park, bowling... So, why did that change? What happened when you moved in together or got married? In many cases, those dates stopped and a new period of your relationship began. Because you were together all the time, having dates was no longer a priority. 


But going on dates should be a priority. Being at home together is not the same as being together; at home, you will always have distractions, there is always something in the way of you being together, just the two of you. When you make time to go on a date, you get to be together and don't have to think of anything else. This can make a big difference and definitely add a spark back between you. 


Photo by Uriel Mont from Pexels

Keep things intimate. When we talk about intimacy in a relationship, we’re not just talking about sex, although this does have its place and is essential. By intimacy, we mean being physically connected. This might be a hug or a kiss, it might be holding hands, it could just be sitting on the same sofa together in the evening rather than at separate ends of the room. Doing these seemingly small things means that there is always some sense of closeness and connection, and this can help in all aspects of your relationship. 


Make sure there is some kind of connection every day, no matter what it is, and you’ll become much closer over time. As a relationship grows older, intimacy is the first thing to start fading, and once that is gone, everything else can easily follow. Keep the connection, and you’ll stay stronger. 

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