I am about to say something quite controversial. It may incite shock, horror, or straight up anger. For that, I am sorry. But it's my opinion. Hear me out, please?
Here
it is. Ready? Okay. I feel that when it comes to making friends and finding love...looks can be as important as personality.
Now,
I say 'can be'. Take note of that, please. And what I mean by 'can be' is, in
the short term, at least.
Because, and my thought process here is really embarrassingly simple
but undeniable: something has to draw you in. Right? When you go out,
either specifically and determinedly on the pull or just to grab some
easy peelers from Tesco down the road, you will look at people. Just
people; those around you, those in the club or shop or park or beach
or skating rink...you look, and you take in appearances. You catch
eyes and appreciate outfits; you may smile and receive one back, may
identify your next big hair style game changer on someone else's head
– whatever. You
look. And if you see someone – or something on that someone,
perhaps – that you like looking at, and want to keep looking at for
the indefinite future...then that's a beginning.
Of something. Could be something, anyway – could also be nothing.
But it's a look, it's looking, and it's got you interested. And that
is kind of crucial, I'd say.
Personality
can affect looks, however. No, seriously. As Roald Dahl
once wrote...
"If
a person has
ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. ... A person who
has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and
a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you
have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and
you will always look lovely.”
(Can
I just say, I am so proud of myself for remembering that whole
passage almost perfectly. I had to go to Google to get the image of course, but literally
only a couple of words in my mind were wrong. Good work, Young Me, with your
mousy pigtails, pink retainer and endless love of fiction.)
Yes,
personality affects looks. I will testify to that. I've had interest
in or dates with the prettiest guys who quickly became hideous to me
once they showed their true colours later on – or in some cases, after just a
minute spent talking to them. Inherent smugness is the first thing
you can notice in a face, I find. Then immaturity, sleaze and
arrogance can emerge not long after. These traits settle in smirks,
leers, flaring of nostrils. Once you see them, you can't not. Soon
the person you're looking at is not pleasant to look at, at all.
Kindness,
however, is perhaps the most beautifying trait there is. Empathy is
pretty lovely, too. As is a good, strong set of manners. That can light a person's face right up. Self-deprecation can be attractive, within reason – like, if a
person genuinely dislikes themselves and won't accept any compliment
you pay, that can make them seem...smaller, somehow. Oh, and wisdom
is downright sexy. As long as it's not too OTT, more quiet and
gentle. It can pour out of someone as they speak and immediately
brings a glow to every inch of their skin.
So
it pays to get to know someone, either way. Whether they seem hot and
then let you down personality-wise, or may not be your type at first
glance, but then become super desirable once they reveal they are a
feminist and watch Always Sunny.
(I really think this is why I never go home with someone I find initially physically attractive on a night out...and why I've fallen for so many of my friends!)
Those
are my opinions on the endless problematic matter of looks vs
personality. What are yours? Am I wrong, or do I have a valid point?
I hope it's the latter...
Comment
and/or tweet if you feel about this as strongly as I do! And of
course if you have any stories about looks beating personality or
vice versa, hit me up with those I beg of you. I love a good story...
Yes to everything girl x
ReplyDeleteYou get it <3
DeleteI have the exact same thoughts as you but have always been bashed by my friends about my opinion. Glad to find that there is someone out there who thinks the same way.
ReplyDelete