Monday, 20 May 2013

But, CBA.

Effort. It's a big thing in my life. I'm not the most shining example when it comes to making an effort, seeing as sometimes I'll put off walking to campus to do something urgent if I can just do it tomorrow between lectures, or I'll use my ukulele to reach from my bed to turn off the light switch a few feet away - but I like to think I make an effort where it counts.

I make an effort with people. I'll always smile and say 'hey' if I see someone I know (however vaguely) in the street, I'll go and sit with a friend in the Learning Cafe or stop and chat with a group of people in the Terrace Bar while I'm getting myself some coffee, and I tend to wander around a venue on a night out to catch up with friends, teammates and people on my course, before returning to my frantic drunken slam-dancing with the people I came with.
I make an effort in relationships. I text them first, I try to arrange things as best I can, I buy the pizza and make the tea or coffee. It's not even a choice, a conscious decision or a need to take charge, it's just what I do. I like arranging things, I like being the one to suggest something, I like being proactive and decisive... Most of the time.
Sometimes, I need someone else to - not take control, just take on some of the responsibility. I need someone to make the effort. I'm not saying they should make dinner reservations, buy flowers or have a message done in skywriting. I mean make the cup of coffee or tea, choose the DVD, text me first maybe... Just a little effort.
The same goes for friends. Sometimes, I need you to recognize that it's your turn to invite me over. It would be nice if you ordered the pizza. When I say I want to go and see a film at the cinema, or a play at the theatre, say you'll come with me. I don't mind going to places alone, in fact I love being by myself most of the time, but...

Every time I say I'm through making all the calls, sending all the texts, knowing that conversations wouldn't happen if I didn't initiate them - nothing really changes. After a few days, it's me doing it all again. It's fine, it's in my nature, it's what I do. Just, every now and again, see how hard I'm trying, and make an effort. That's all I ask.


  1. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL. Good job, Gracie. As always! I love it. x


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