Monday, 3 October 2011

Leftover Love.™

The other day, I accidentally saw a photo of my ex-boyfriend. You know when you just stumble across something that you really don't want to see? This hardly ever used to happen; a few years ago you would only ever see a photo or something your ex once wrote to you in an old photo album or in a keepsake box... But nowadays, these marvellous social networking sites enable you to see everything, whether you like it or not. This is why I block people online. Since I blocked him, I've had no unpleasant surprises.
However, I brought a massive envelope of photos with me to university to cover my noticeboard in my new bedroom with memories, and I didn't realise there were old photos of him and I in there. So when I was going through the pictures of my friends and family, I found his cheeky face tucked in there - right next to my Goonish Grin face. We always used to joke about being "the most unphotogenic couple in the world"; we could never ever get a decent photo of the two of us together. So the only two decent photos we ever had together were, of course, printed off and saved in my special photos envelope.

I won't lie, it was a bit of a shock seeing his face. But instead of being horrified and instantly upset at the sight of it, and being overwhelmed with the memories it held, I was pleasantly surprised. I looked into his bluey green eyes and felt nothing but a soft reminder of happy memories, some of the best of my life. No spite, no jealousy, no pesky Leftover Love.

I'm so relieved. Maybe all I needed was time (although I hate loathe and detest that age-old expression: "just give it time"), or maybe it was finding someone else, or maybe it was leaving my little town and moving to an exciting new city, or maybe it was meeting new people who don't know anything about my past. Whatever the reason, I am over it all completely and I have nothing but a faint fondness and a soft spot in my heart for that boy that made my life an adventure for a year and a half. x

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