Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Don't judge me by my past, I don't live there any more.

So the other night this guy, who I've taken a bit of a shine to, made a few harsh observations about my character... Luckily I'm not a girl who gets hurt easily, but I couldn't help but feel that the things he said were a little unfair, considering he's only known me for three weeks. Sure, we've spent a lot of time together over those three weeks, but I don't think he knows me well enough yet to be that honest with me.

Two girls can walk up to each other and say: "hey, slag", and "ewww, not you again!" and you instantly know they're the best of friends. I have a few relationships like that; it takes years to form that kind of closeness which warrants constantly insulting one another.

My very best friends, however, I greet with a "hey beautiful!" and a cheesy Baywatch-style run-up hug whenever I see them. We have our giggly light-hearted gossip sessions, but then we always end up having serious, in-depth heart-to-heart discussions about life, love, etc. I live for the days I spend just sitting in my best friend's bed eating chocolate, watching True Blood and talking about everything. She and I are also close enough that if I tell her something I've recently said or done (I can't really give a clean example at this point in time), she will give me her honest opinion on whether I said or did the right thing, and what I should do next. I always listen to her advice, and act on it. She could royally tell me off for something, and I'd totally understand and agree with her. That's not true for many other people in my life.

So when my friend turned to me the other night and said something so brutally honest about what he thought of me, I was pretty shocked and upset. I know people will form their own opinions of me, and I can't help that, but when they voice it so openly, after only knowing me a short while... I'm just not used to it.

He had a good point though. I was being a bit of a bitch that night. I was reading out some of the things a certain girl had written about me online, scoffing at her comments and making fun of her. What I was actually doing was hiding that fact that the things she was writing were deeply upsetting me, but he wasn't to know that. He was totally right to tell me off. However, he was not right to say: "you don't give a shit about other peoples' relationships."
Don't get me wrong, I can see why you'd think that. But I honestly do care about and respect other peoples' relationships; no matter how much I want someone, if they're unavailable and happy with someone else, I won't go out of my way to sabotage them and steal them away. If it's meant to be, it'll happen, and if it's someone special, I am happy to wait. I've been a lot of things; the other girl, the girl who wanted more, the broken-hearted girl, the girl with the worst timing... But the one thing I have always been, is the girl who waited. x

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