Saturday, 10 September 2011

The Age-Old Question.

Can a boy and a girl ever be "just friends"?

I've given this a lot of thought, and examined all my relationships with members of the opposite sex, and I think most of us girls have the same set of male relationships: the classic ex-boyfriend who says "we can still be (best) friends", the best guy friend who is secretly in love with you, the boy who is everything you need but you just don't feel that way about him, the boy you consider a great friend but question his choice of girlfriends, the gay best friend who doesn't know he's gay yet, the boy who becomes your boyfriend when you're both drunk, the good friend who you share a complicated history with... The list goes on.

I get a lot of grief for being affectionate with my male friends. I will hug them and kiss them on the cheek, tell them I love them and say things like: "where have you been all my life?" when I bump into them in public. This behaviour has earned me some pretty harsh judgement and even a few enemies. However, if I exhibit exactly the same affection with my female friends, nobody says a word.

And of course, the level of affection between friends either decreases or intensifies dramatically once alcohol is introduced. The other night, I found myself hugging people I knew from my Sociology class and have barely exchanged fifty words with (boys and girls), and kissing my best friends repeatedly on the lips (boys and girls). I got several drunken phone calls last night from one of my male friends (I would categorize him as: "the good friend who you share a complicated history with" and also "the boy who becomes your boyfriend when you're both drunk") and he told me he loved me, he missed me and he wanted me "right now please please please".

I have kissed several of my male friends, and spent the night with two of them. I still consider the latter two as close friends, although I am in serious danger of falling in love with one of them. This just proves that there is a very fine line between friends and "something more".
I discussed this at length with my mum once (neglecting to mention that I've slept with two of my male friends) and she simply said: "you NEED to watch 'When Harry Met Sally'."
So that's what I'll do. Maybe Billy and Meg can give me some guidance... x

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